Next up, Chief Dan (Boy) George will be invited to sing "Karma Chameleon".

"His total lack of commitment to stamping his feet and holding his breath makes me wonder how serious he is about horse-racing."

Sepp Blatter: "Golf ball-sized hail has been banned from the 2014 World Cup!"

I've improved my time running around doing errands on Saturday to two and a half hours!

If some league would step up and start playing games RIGHT NOW all this LeBron shit would just disappear.

"Closed Fist, No Backhands"

If you want a Football War, all you have to do is play against Honduras.

"I wish I could but I can't deconstruct this."

"Man say bad thing about other man I like. Wilbon smash!"

Chris Bosh taking two showers? I refuse to make a crack about that!

I've had enough. GOOD NIGHT CANADA!

But John Cale scraped a violin bow across a guitar (or vice-versa) on that song on that banana-centered Velvet Underground album! How Dare You?

The day when your dad doesn't cover your ears when he starts cussing is described as a rite of passage in many cultures.

Did you see Duncan bang his knees together on the bench? It might be a nascent emotion trying to manifest itself or maybe he just needed to go to the washroom. I can't tell.

Sade thinks you're a smooth operator, given the circumstances.

Piffle I can get behind. Dootlin'? Are you some kind of damn gearbox?

A pirate patch? Must be hell saying ARRRGGGG! instead of ERGGGG! around the house right now.

"Foofaraw? We've moved on from that dated word."

If you don't think too much about it, they are the same celebrity-person.

*snort*