Dear lame frat boys of the world: None of you will ever dress as well as Scott Disick. EVER.

Billy Ray is not Billy Ray without the mullet. The first time I saw him with his Keith Urban hair, I was like "what is this fuckery??" I was incensed. He should be required by law to have this look forever:

Yeah, the entire rationale was bizarre. It was as if Chua-Eoan said to himself, "how can I make myself and my magazine look as bad as humanly possible with my answer?"

Damn. That's not as good as my "buddy comedy with Billy Ray" idea, of course, but I'm sold nonetheless.

I am currently digging Cover Girl's Flamed Out mascara. I had been a die-hard fan of the plastic bristles mascaras like Lash Blast and Lash Blast Fusion, but this one is fab. It has longer, thicker bristles at the end to get that outer corner curl going. And it doesn't flake, which is pretty much the most important…

a) as soon as I saw that close-up pic of the Duchess a couple of weeks ago, I knew we would never, ever hear the end of it. Newsflash, haters: Her forehead is wrinkled there because of her facial expression. People's foreheads often scrunch, even yours! Make a few faces in the mirror sometime, you utter shitheads.…

Pam's pixie is absolutely the best of the lot. I was hella surprised.

Yeah, I'm not going to go speculate about why, but Bossip is incredibly homophobic in their approach.

You are far, far behind on this story. Catch up on the FOUR victims who came forward only to be ignored, and get back to me.

Yeah I tried the "Flamed Out" and I liked it even better than my usual go-to, LashBlast Fusion.

I have yet to find an eyelash curler that doesn't pull out my eyelashes, and I've tried a LOT of them and use a gentle hand. If you tell me that Japonesque doesn't pull out your eyelashes, I might have to give it a try.

I was once called racist for saying that I found Bossip to be a particularly awful gossip site (an incredible feat), and...I just don't know what the hell to do with that. But it truly is terrible any way you slice it.

I just googled it. He said nothing about compelling girlfriends specifically, just that it would be kind of cool to be able to do it in general. It was a throwaway tongue-in-cheek answer to a throwaway hypothetical softball question.

I totally read that as "Britney's new perfume, Song."

I don't usually go for the older, distinguished thing, but damn. That was some sexy law enforcement angst.

Yeah, as much as she said she's over it (and I tend to believe her, actually), bringing this up more than 15 years later, except without all that context of the competing rumors that were swirling at the time, is going to make KB look worse than perhaps he deserves.

Don't forget Wild at Heart Nicholas Cage. His snakeskin jacket was totally a sign of his individuality and his belief in personal freedom.

You aren't going to share what he said?

The Kenneth Branagh-Emma Thomspon-HBC love triangle was undoubtedly the classiest and most British scandal of all time.

Tell me you've seen BBC's Wallander.