Yeah, I remember how upset you were when Troy McGreggor's lip started quivering that time. He just wanted to see his dad again so badly, and you totally wanted to make that happen for him. *sniff*

That bow, tho. Yikes.

I swear at least 90 percent of his Kitchen Nightmares freakouts are not because someone dared to challenge his authority or anything like that, but rather because they thought it would be a great idea to store week-old seafood next to black mold.

I totally agree. I've seen each and every episode of Kitchen Nightmares (US and UK), as well as much Master Chef, and I don't think he's an asshole at all. The people he yells at, on Kitchen Nightmares anyway, are frequently delusional psychopaths who think nothing of feeding salmonella chicken to paying customers. …

This certainly puts my BC problems into perspective. I've recently been quite pouty about a couple of developments. First, I had to stop taking the active pills straight through (skipping my period) because I had so much breakthrough bleeding. I would have not only spotting, but also random, gushing, week-long…

Yes! It cannot be stressed enough that the context of his column as a whole makes that one quote about "conventional views" even worse.

Exactly. The "mistake" is that the dog whistle was too obvious. Because in context (every public figure's favorite excuse when they say something shitty), that quote actually becomes even more disturbing and unequivocally racist.

"But I have yet to see anything substantive about the awards or about the discourses surrounding Malala"

Yeah, his whole point was that gagging at an interracial couple is "conventional," not racist. Ergo, according to Cohen, the Tea Party, who is comprised of people more likely than the non-conservatives to gag, is conventional rather than racist.

Because he characterized demonstrably and unequivocally racist views as "conventional views." In the context of an article in which he deemed the Tea Party/conservatives "not racist."

If you have an Adidas outlet in your area, it's a great way to get Stella stuff at a discount. I got a $100 pair of workout tights for $50, and it was a steal because those things are amazing.

Right? I didn't think they could be any more hateable. I was wrong.

If you want fancy workout stuff, Stella McCartney for Adidas is right at the same price point as Lululemon, but unlike Lulu, is actually really good quality. No one is going to see my ass through my pair of Stella for Adidas workout tights. And they're ridiculously comfy.

Dear Sheryl Sandberg: Privileged women trying to "lean in" to corporate culture are not the only women who matter. I don't care if you have to haul the entire "innappropriate review" team to a week-long retreat for the purpose of education which will culminate in an all-new company-wide policy for what constitutes…

This is Good/Bad/Ugly. It's a red carpet fashion column. What they wore is kind of the point.

Oh, I know. I totally read her authorized biography in high school. Peabody Conservatory of Music!

I would just like to say that I saw Tori Amos at the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville in 1999 during my senior year of high school and girlfriend's piano skills are on point. Mad skillz. It was even more impressive live.

J Law, I love ya, and you are certainly entitled to have your hair the way you want, but you should have gone to whoever did Pamela Anderson's pixie, because that is how it's done.

It is mandated by me that Miley now cover the Cows' seminal Sexy Pee Story:

Or she could develop a unique, guttural-screamy singing style and a "troll under a bridge" stage persona that involves stumbling, piss-drunk performances while visibly drenched head to toe in sweat and spittle...wait, that's David Yow. Fuck.