When I was getting my paralegal degree, I had a torts teacher who was a successful insurance defense attorney. Despite the outwardly sinister nature of his field, he was incredibly nice, funny and had a highly appealing personality. But his fashion sense was so sad. One day a classmate came in wearing a suit. The…

I don't know if those comments are "enlightening" so much as evidence of how unbelievably catty people can be and how psycho they sound when they pretend to know a lot of intimate details about famous people because of a combination of gossip reading and their own mean-spirited imaginations.

You know, for some reason, no matter how many terrible anecdotes I hear about Alec Baldwin, I just don't believe that he's really that bad a dude. I think he has a temper and certain buttons that are easily pushed, but I don't know...he seems....honest and real in a way that can sometimes get pretty ugly.

I await the inevitable and awesomely meta buddy comedy starring Rebecca Martinson and Michael Shannon.

I choose a polyamorous relationship with Pretty in Pink James Spader and Secretary James Spader.

Yeah, he may not be 25 any more, but let's face it, he could probably make you come with his voice alone.

Totally. I'd hate fuck the shit out of Stef, and then he'd have a breakthrough and cry in my arms, and then we'd be in a relationship and eventually have a lot of little tow-headed mini Spaders.

Right? I caught that movie again on HBO last weekend, which I followed up with several hours of Google imaging "James Spader's ass."

YES! Spader thread time! This seem to happen on Jezebel at least once a month.

Stop hating on Robert Pattinson's bitchface, Jezebel! Rob and I have the exact same expression when we walk down the street! This means we're soulmates.

"as someone who used to own a life-sized cardboard cutout of Legolas"

Ew, why the fuck did I just Google that? It seems almost too random to be untrue, but who knows. Even the thought has me vomiting.

Are you under the impression that the situation you describe is charming rather than a dickish overreaction?

This is me. There is literally nothing I like more than sitting on the couch watching my shows and eating stuff. I can only bring myself to exercise a few times a week, and I don't really enjoy it that much. I wish I was sportier and more active, but sitting on the couch, smoking a bowl and eating is just really,…

It really pisses me off when my husband finds my sweets stash. Fortunately I've found a new hiding place that I'm pretty sure he would never think of.

Sorry, I reject the Fuck Marry Kill construct in this instance.

It's not too late to make Christian Grey Irish!

Jesus, is it even possible to more "manly" that a swaggering northern Brit who plays an outlaw biker? If anything Hunnam's too stereotypically manly for the role.

For a second after I finished The Fall I was worried that hot guys were ruined for me forever. He was that good.

A gourd, huh? Sounds like he may have his own birth-themed pumpkin monstrosity in mind. :)