My mother on premarital sex said "You wouldn't buy a car with out test driving a few first!!" Our mothers are really into making sure we have good transportation.

You were describing me until you got to the facial hair part. Then I realized I lack the parts you desire. Our Jezebel love story was not meant to be!

My mom made me wear hippie tea tree patchouli deodorant in high school because she believed this was true :( I played SPORTS. I needed ANTIPERSPIRANT

I mostly just chat on there (I still work there occasionally). Most of my regulars just want to talk about random shit. I only do more depending on how much extra money I need that month.

I also worked as a webcam model. I have been asked several times by different people to fart facing the camera so they can watch my butt move. I said no.

I love almost all vegetables that I have tried and dislike many fruits so I'm with you! Fruit is just too sweet. People look at me weirdly when I say my fav fruit is grapefruit.

Asamoah Gyan of Ghana is pretty fabulous

YESSSS

Nice! I too am of the rainbow hair clan.

Ohh I watched that episode. Tell her I like her hair.

Unless that was a typo and you meant 240 there is no way that she can be plus sized at that height an weight

DOES EATING GOLD FLAKES HELP EXFOLIATE YOUR BOWELS??? WHAT IS THE POINT!!!

Sorry this was years ago and I got drunk and used them as projectile weapons :(

It was a big box filled with 400 of these little packets. More halloween size than full box.

I won a year supply of Hot Tamales once. It was the most disappointing prize ever.

I was worried about that too especially since my bank is Chase.

The outdoor pool of an old folks home. We broke in to swim, ended up having sex. Pool sex is awkward you kinda float away from each other weirdly and then you have to out swim the jizz at the end. Also someone's visiting grandkids showed up at the end and we had to act like nothing weird was happening.

Riff Raff tweets are my favorite tweets. Even better are Riff Raff vines.

You can give up to $14,00 to a person per year and it will be exempted from gift tax.

POUTINNNNNNNNE