It’s really fucking galling to hear President Asshole call the Democrats “do nothing” when all he can muster is tweeting, playing golf, and holding fascist level campaign rallies. He doesn’t understand policy, he won’t read his daily brief, he can’t comprehend nuance, he can’t be bothered to expend one iota of his…

Trump is the rear half of this stable’s genius...

This is how you fight republican bullying and ignorance. You make good solid laws that defend people’s rights and bodies. You tell the American people what these laws will get them and what they will protect them from. If these laws are voted down, you go after the cruel bastards that stole rights from us.

The problem is she’s choosing a really poor hill to fight on. She’s basically protesting the entire concept of a grand jury, which... sure, you could argue that in a perfect world we wouldn’t use them, but it’s a longstanding and accepted part of the US legal system. They even gave her immunity for her testimony,…

Sure, she can.  She can testify to the grand jury, something she should do anyway.  Do we really want to protect Wikileaks?  They’re part of the whole worldwide push against democracy.

I read it as “TRUMP SURE IS DEAD” and got excited for a minute.

Right now there are four main ways to legally immigrate to the United States:

Secede, you theocratic motherfuckers.

Safe to say that Donny’s focus was more “Big Breast” than “Be Best”. He doesn’t care about Melania’s ability to communicate with him, as long as she gets Toad turgid.

Plus, listening to him is so painful. I’d rather watch his beaky anusmouth opening and closing in a pleasing silence.

If you are local, contact Liz Warren’s campaign and ask them for audio clips of Warren’s policy proposals, and insist the stations put them in rotation. After all, Liz has a plan for that!

“About a month later I said, ‘Steve, your wife and family loves you.’ Because I know some cases where it’s not quite that way,” Trump continued.

I read the Drew’s today, oh boy
About a plucky man who named the rain
Another dude was rather fat
Well, I just had to laugh
I saw Chris Farley’s ass

A brew is noted for its can
It doesn’t matter if the Lite has changed
A row of people stood at Camden
Now, let me be clear
Nobody is really sure if lemons have two seeds or more

—Th…

And I thought PewDiePie’s name rhymed with “cutie pie” (it does not)

The letters are so nicely centered and level. He’s obviously very anal about it. 

This should have been published on The Takeout

Maybe they will meet-cute, fall in love and have a baby:  Jizz Thrower.

Farmers are some of the biggest beneficiaries of government welfare programs in the whole fucking country. While also being some of the ones who will squeal the loudest like a bunch of MAGA pigs about all “those” people who are a bunch of lazy welfare leeches and are ruining the country.

BUY MY NEW BOOK:

As I’ve said many times before:

Eat shit, Ivanka