Mitch McConnell promises to block progressive legislation until his very last breath...which hopefully will be very soon. 

Don’t any of these chuckleheads have jobs? How do they have all of this time to trespass on private property and hassle asylum seekers? 

Why “Mr. Umbrella Man”? She should have gone for something more pithy, like “Orange Asshole.” 

Fuckabee seems to have had a makeover - getting herself camera-ready for the “Lying about Lying Tour,” I see! The makeup, dye job, and hairstyle are actually pretty good...that’s about the best she’s ever looked.

What is Alfred, Lord Tennyson (left) doing there? Reworking his classic, Crossing the Bar(r), perchance?

As long as the glasses don't resign, I'm ok with this. They're doing all the heavy lifting anyway.

Barnaby’s?!?! I have never in my life heard anyone say that’s their favorite pizza in town. We go to Barnaby’s because it’s close, not because it’s good (in our opinion). I feel like I’ve seen my first unicorn now that I’ve encountered someone who prefers Barnaby’s over all others, and I will never eat there again…

If Photoshop was a crime, someone should be serving a life sentence.

Wow - Mother is quite the frump! And Squinty picked a terrible jacket - cuts her right across her widest part and makes her look chunky.

Re the branding thing - is he saying he’s awesome at branding because he rebranded himself into the president? Or that having supposed expertise in branding helped him get elected president? Batshit crazy either way, but I can’t figure out what he’s crowing about here.

Apparently it’s “Boot-Edge-Edge,” but I don’t know which syllable is stressed. 

It’s Jizyah Shorts’ world...we just live in it. 

I like India Sussex - that’s a keeper! 

Aurora Sussex is a great name! 

Gillibrand has been leading off her Facebook ads with a trumpeting of how she took Franken down. Seems like a pretty piss-poor strategy - every comment below it was by someone vowing to never vote for her because of it. 

What a fugly couple! How on earth did Squinty ever get any modeling gigs, unless they were for the “before” photo for a plastic surgery practice?

That hateful hobgobblin is a horror to look at - ugly inside and out. 

I don’t think Melanie services him in a way where she can see his face.

I assume that’s a tribute to Q’s ‘stache. 

Can someone please tell me why the ambassador is “like a wonderful, beautiful baby”? I can’t bring myself to listen to Dump speak, so I won’t go to the tape. Does the ambassador have beautiful skin? Does he wear a diaper? Dress in sleepers? Suck his own toes?