We used to say “olly-olly-oxen-free-free-free!” in my neck of the woods (Midwest), but your point still stands.

“Put up wind” - ?!?! What the absolute fuck? 

Sorry, Rob - don’t build your future with a girlfriend who thinks your cats are negatively processing your jovial middle finger. Trust me on this. 

I never ever want to meet any of that 4% of people who would describe Dump as “sexy.” Can you even imagine who/what these people are? 

Three-hour dinners where Melanie says three words and Dump gasses endlessly about himself and his ill-formed opinions. I’m sure her internal dialogue is an incessant loop of “Kill me now!”

More like Maroon 10, if you’re counting nipples. 

I think that was actually Up on Top of People.

I love the pearl-clutching indignation by the person fuming about “unannounced nudity.” 

I’ll see your something something something and raise you blah blah blah bootstraps. 

Let her take all her money and choke on it!

The comments to the letter are pretty great:

People who harass the parents of dead children from a mass shooting should themselves be shot. No other punishment comes close to being what they deserve. Then we can harass their survivors and scream, “False flag!!” a bunch of times. 

Yes, I always carry my toothpaste nearly falling out of my gym bag...totally natural! 

Eat shit, Betsy. 

I would add 4) Lin-Manuel Miranda and 5) Chris Evans. I hope they are as nice as they seem!

I really thought the breaking point was going to Dump’s mocking of a disabled report. I still can’t believe we live in a country where that went by without any serious rebuke/shunning.

Me too! And wait until you see the shindig I throw when Mitch McConnell finally shuffles into his grave!

Ha!!! Is that Big Dumb Son’s official headshot?? He looks like an easily-startled mouthbreather with a 25 IQ. 

Please write a response to Big Dumb Son’s editorial and submit it to the Telegraph - your logic here is spot on! 

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