Dead. Thefuck. On, tornoadoslackss.

If Jimmy Fallon worked at Chotchkie’s he’d be the server with the most flair. He’d have like 37 fucking piece of flair, okay. And a terrific smile.

Hey, not bad!

Does she get legal fees in addition to her $1? I hope so

I believe I will cite the resolution of the case of “Quack vs Duck” for the jury, yer honor....

“I’m normally a happy-go-lucky racist. You just caught me on a bad day.”

Yeah, I’d love an explanation for why he was marching in a racist rally if he’s not an angry racist.

*read in the voice of John Oliver*

“I’m not racist. I just like meeting up with a bunch of racists, lighting torches, and marching around talking about how awesome white people and how much POC suck and should die. Why are you being so mean to me?”

I’m not the angry racist they see in that photo

Don’t you just hate it when your cross-country road trip ends up, by pure coincidence, at a giant klan rally? And then you join in because, when in Rome, you know? And then other people have the nerve to assume you’re a Nazi.

I thought KKK stood for Kakes, Kakes, Kakes!

This is not my beautiful rally! My god, how did I get here?

This is the part that really breaks the needle on the bullshit meter. I suddenly found myself about twelve states away from home in a Nazi/KKK rally; I simply have no idea how that could’ve happened!

In f’ing *Virginia* when he lives in California. He must’ve paid for a flight or taken a really long bus for this...

You misunderstood. He meant he was a DIFFERENT angry racist. He doesn’t even own a shirt like that.

LOL seriously? I’d have more respect for these assholes if they at least stood by their beliefs. Dude, you showed up to a racist rally, with like riot gear meant to hurt people. No one is going to believe you accidentally wandered in their because you got drunk at TGIFridays. At least own it.

I was told I was attending a luau! Someone will be getting a strongly worded letter from me.

Sometimes you just have to play along