Jesus. Did you get that from the Wikipedia entry for “goober”?

That's a guy who will pull over for a hand painted sign advertising boiled peanuts. Every damn time.

The face of a guy who would ask you for a sip of your milk.

If the Earth were round, Giancarlo Stanton’s dingers would go straight into outer space. Think about it, you guys.

They’re still better than the Niners. You know, because of math.

World record holder in the javelin catch.

I just assumed that’s where Affleck stuffed his dead call girls...Excuse me, hookers. When they’re dead, they’re just hookers.

Wondo’s mom brings the orange slices for halftime sooooo

There’s really no defense for it.

lol this

They come in at a jog and they have to know when designing stadiums that this will be an outcome on occasion, yet they still do it.

But yeah, if it was about a real fight, they’d just fight out there on their own. Can you imagine if one team just went pirate-style like boarding a ship and just climbed into the…

Maybe Dale Jr. is also a Hitler reference. Think about it.

It's a fabrication about majors. It was a pun, dummy.

I’ll have you know that Pitino fucked that whore ON the table - not under it.

Talk about a punch in the face to Rangers fans.

Braves: We need a new stadium!

Why is it taking everyone so long to realize that Elliott is a legit top-end goaltender? The Blues did the same thing for years and it’s fucking mystifying. Lack of draft pedigree? The fact that he (like Price and many others) took a few season to find himself? The Blues jerking him around, creating a perception of…

It's too bad David Carradine never used The Great Unchokening.

Either that or he heard Carlos Martinez was asking where he could find a nice pussy after the game.

It took me less time to write it than it did for you to figure out how many days it’s been since he signed with the Cubs, but thanks for playing.