Literally?

That dried up bitch is no cougar.

I think bong rips blown into Repukelicans faces randomly would also be appropriate.

I mean, he killed Belushi when he forgot to tell Robin Williams about his cocaine/heroine allergy.

It would be cool to be able to say that Bill Murray fucked up my order.

But is a Swan a Hot Dog?

TASTY TODDLER MEAT HERE! GET YOUR TASTY TODDLER MEAT!

Just say ‘neigh’ to horse. It will give you the trots.

Yeah. Keep rocking out the fun food content.

That’s an odd activity to perform ‘gladly’.

“I have told multiple people to eat me.”

I’m still waiting for the day a truck overturns and spills its contents of smaller, overturned trucks.

Talcum powder toast is just the worst. So DRY!

Stick to Food-trucks.

A monthly subscription is a small price to pay to keep sane at work. I like when an article or a comment makes me bust out laughing and my cube mates look at me like I’m insane. (jury’s still out)

I’ll throw in Tree Fiddy!

I adopted a Stick To Spats™ ideology in my personal life and it looks like...checks living-room...yep, still sleeping on the couch.

CHICKEN LETTUCE WRAPS!

Allison’s list looks like the beginning of our family order, so I am with her! Beef/Chicken & Broccoli is good even as leftovers. Plus, it’s fun to order Pu Pu Platter on the phone! I bet her fifth pick would have to be Kung Pao Three Delight!

I have been so pissed off today about this whole Deadspin thing, that my humor bone may have been broken.