I like the idea of the brand, but I won’t give them a second chance after the oil guzzling FB25 in our previous (new) 2013 Outback. Damn thing took 1.5 quarts every 1,000 miles and the dealer was of no help, nor corporate. We lost our shirt getting out of the lease early because of a crisis of confidence.

Typical for a Jeep hodge. Fun fact: 3% of Jeeps have consisted of zip ties.

Looks better than a McLaren F1. And a better value, too.

One of the few six figure cars in the world where you’re actually a poor if you’re the one driving it.

I mean, look at that DLO disparity.

You’d think most men would figure out this elementary school BS after they have kids (especially a daughter, which I also have).

I thought the grid kids was a creative, positive solution for everyone involved. I’m really disappointed if they’re Formula E is stepping away from that. Maybe I’m just weird, but I don’t see sporting events of any variety as a flimsy secondary premise to “look at chicks.”

So, are those holes in the bumpers where you top off the human tears reservoirs? I don’t see any wiper arms.

So, a WasserGenerator? I had to make an effort and resist the desire to say Wasserbox.

“I know you’re screaming at your monitor right now wondering how the hell I could possibly give praise to the WRX STI Type RA earlier this week for seemingly the same changes and its own eye-opening price tag.” 

Should I feel bad that I read this as “brown eye-opening price tag”?

“Every so often in this trash world, we get to wake up to some good news that’s like a ray of sunlight on a gray and stormy day.”

Mmm, yes, truly a good day to be a 1%er. *lights Cuban cigar with $100 bill* This will help keep me preoccupied from the volatility of the Pacific rim market corrections.

REQUEST FOR URGENT CAR PURCHASE

Man...why do you have to pee on my parade?

Of course, the correct answer is “Challenge accepted!”

Can you retrofit one of these on Project Redwood for maximum trail domination? That’s what I want to know.

(good explainer, though)

We should be friends. I like your style.

Knock it off, Britain, gosh.

Every direction of that flow chart should point to “Question your life decisions.”

No pictures of the driver’s seat? No sale. (it’s probably nuked from 6 different previous subprime buyers)

Also, holy depreciation Batman.

You don’t own a W8 Passat. A W8 Passat owns you (and your wallet).

So...it’s Bitcoin on wheels?

(yes, I know how ridiculous and probably wrong that sounds)

What’s a Mack Lurrin? Never mind, I’m late to take my Corolla to the Jiffy Lube.