“I was going to fire Comey,” Trump told NBC. “Regardless of the recommendation, I was going to fire Comey.”

“Since we got rid of him” = “since he stepped down after serving the maximum-allowed two terms in office”.

Former vet nurse and cat behaviorist here.

Yeah, there’s been one or two rule changes since ‘91... nothing major though.

Melania needs the blood of our youth for her nightly baths.

“Oh great so I gotta start off extra innings with some dude clogging up the base path in front of my hitters? Not on your life dude.” Dusty Baker

Hello kids....

Go fuck yourself.

Always relevant:

It’s like a fucking game of whack-a-mole. Every time I peg one as my least favorite, another one pops up.

Guys, this is serious. If you want to help please go here:

I just can’t tell if the word “literally” is being used correctly here or not.

“Malcolm...X? That’s it? No last name? Sad.”

I don’t recall who said it, so I can’t give proper credit, but the gist was that Sean Spicer looks like the guy who just got bitten by a zombie and doesn’t want to tell the rest of the group.

The midwest? We’re not all dumb republican hicks. But thanks for lumping us all into one group, much like folks tend to do with oh I don’t know...Middle Easterners.

Ok but back to the important part - how many abortions did you sell her?

Dammit. Don’t make me like John Tortarella.

I swear he looks like he’s some hippie dressing up as a doctor for Halloween.

Jerzey Kosinski predicted this 40 years ago. President Chauncey Trup says “ I like to watch.”