You have a Martha Graham cat.

Omg that giraffe has HAD IT with your shit.

My cats have been chatting with each other a lot today. One makes a noise and the other jumps off my lap and runs over to them and then they make noises back and forth. I am pretty sure I’ll be dead by nightfall.

Seriously. This situation called for a well placed crop dusting and nothing more.

*fart noise*

I caught that too and smiled just reading it! Seriously though, I can’t imagine anyone famous saying they hate Britney. How could anyone hate Britney!?! Maybe Jessica Biel doesn’t like her?

You’re doing the Lord’s work.

Lol, I though you wrote “revolting door.”

Oh, you crabby people. It’s ok to love the original and to love the new version. (It’s not ok to love the movie version with John Travolta though.)

So I guess I am in the minority that actually liked the movie, as nothing more than cute, campy (seriously, SERIOUSLY campy!) fun. Zac Efron almost made me reconsider my firm stance against being a cougar! j/k I kid, I kid. But I was looking forward to the live event, but now I will be picking up my niece from the…

Isn’t there like a theory, black people invent the lingo, it gets co-opted by the gays, then the straight white people get ahold of it and obliterate it? Did I hear that somewhere? Idk anymore. Maybe that was a dream I had. Or an episode of the Simpsons. What day is it?

Scaramucci, Scaramucci will you do the fandango?

you don’t have to accept lies as truth. but talking to them does require us reasonable people to swallow some of our anger. it’s extremely unfortunate but is it really anything new, that AGAIN the burden is on us to make things right? not the spoiled stupid children fucking everything up? sigh. anyway, I posted this…

Ann Coulter doesn’t even get a shoutout as a hate-fueled blonde? Sad!

election where Bernie Sanders almost beat her.

Do men get a draft waiver if they have a physical issue?

My son took a shit in the potty today. He was surprised that that much came out of his body and very proud of the smell.

I had to spend a bunch of time in waiting rooms yesterday, so...it happens lol

Wait, I’m confused. Was she courting Bush era Republicans too much or was she too entrenched in “identity politics”? I can’t keep my Hillary criticism of the day straight. Damn, was a lady imperfect again?

He isn’t a Democrat.