there was a tweet that wasn’t included where nicki says farrah’s child slapped her. the above is an inference into what the child was thinking at the time. WHY DO I KNOW THIS.

i’ve loved dj khaled since i was in high school (his work in birdman’s “100 million” was formative) (not to be confused with “a milli”) and it’s so weird to now teach high schoolers and, like today, walk into my classroom and find every single desk has “ANOTHER ONE” written on it in dry erase marker. high schoolers…

yeah, i was a little sketched out by paraguard, which is why i decided to go with mirena. thanks!

i told my friend that she should connect each of hers to make a chain (like a paper chain but more sexually promiscuous) and decorate her apartment with it. she rejected the idea.

already done! and they told me to self-check for the strings every month; if you don’t feel the strings, head to the doctor. i definitely unloaded a barrage of “what if”s on my gyn before (and during) the process because i am crazy paranoid.

jinkies!!! i did that with a tampon once. the human body is a nightmare factory!!!

my IUD is possibly the best thing to ever happen to my body. i love it. i have also forgotten that i had it a few times, which is perhaps the best kind of birth control.

when i got my (totally free) IUD, i called my boyfriend shrieking with glee. when he understood what the full protection of an IUD meant for him, he was also shrieking with glee.

you’re fine, i LOVE talking about makeup. a tint can come in a few different forms; it basically means that the product is sheer (like in this picture of lana). a stain is a matte formula that does what it says, and is meant to last all day; basically the same effect as sloppily drinking wine, lol. a tint could come…

i agree they aren’t the best, especially in this picture with glossy lips. i think it looks a lot better with a matte nude or deep red like in the “born to die” video.

yeah, i would say she probably has some contouring going on! she is a very beautiful woman but her visage is definitely enhanced in one or more ways.

ooooh no, i meant the bar that has bits of candied orange peel in it, but i do have a terry’s chocolate orange in the pantry RIGHT NOW. probably about to eat it.

get a hershey dark, rub some "liquid smoke" on it, keep your $10

yes, the packaging is v pretty, but i’ve had a couple and they are very meh. i’ll take a chocolove orange peel any day tbh. also, for some reason none of this scandal surprises me? maybe i am ~jaded~.

ughhhhh baby names. i’m nowhere near close to even making a baby on purpose, let alone naming one, but my sister is “actively trying” (barf) to get pregnant with another one so it’s been a hot topic of our conversation lately. her #1 pick for a boy is “davis”, which is pretty cute, but our dad’s name is david so it’s…

this is my first year and it’s definitely been kicking my ass; the weeks leading up to thanksgiving felt like they lasted forever. but i plan to stick with it! i’m curious about teaching higher ed; i’ve toyed with the idea of getting a master’s so i can teach community college when i start having a family. what do you…

PERFECT. i’m a high school teacher. school gets out for winter break the 18th. prayer hands emoji.

the detail in this is great. that plaid skirt! the sleeve cuffs! the socks and mary janes!!!!

1. He doesn’t “have” to resign. It’s voluntary and, in this case, a tail-tucked-between-the-legs move. 2. The university has to accept the resignation before it is confirmed, so there’s no telling whether or not he’ll actually be leaving. There are rumors that they rejected the resignation.

That’s not even the whole email. In its entirety: