Oh how I hate pigs. That’s a long story. That pig totally shit on that lady on purpose.

My MIL had a raccoon that was eating a box of crackerjacks. The first time I saw it, it was sitting by the back door and I coldcocked it with a broom.

If yall like taxidermy buy a plane ticket and go here....the original store was one of my most favorite places

All I could think was Rick James would never let his shit dry out like that

My mother gave me mine. The day I unveiled it was the day my boyfriend had to tell me he might have given me a sexually transmitted disease. So yeah, I got a home perm and the shit hit the fan. I blame my mother.

Karen is my hero. BACKWARDS IN HIGH HEELS WITH A GIGANTIC PYTHON EXTENTION CORD BITCHES. We were all Amazons and Charlie Girls. And her hair is hotrolled perfection and I guarantee smells like Herbal Essence.

Im still watching, but I was hoping the whole thing would be cheesier, and I think Cuba G Jr is miscast.

I did fuck the goat, and lived to regret it

Aww Solange. If I accidentally threw my giant diamond ring off a Mardi Gras float I would have a hard time sleeping too.

Sandra Bernhard is the model for the print ads, and the photographs are GORGEOUS. She looks truly fabulous.

The reason is the survival of the human race. After we are no longer fuckable and the men start to ignore us is when we can finally get shit done. I’m 56 and I have never felt so capable, and finally free to act on my own instincts, and I’m pretty sure if I wasn’t here my ex-husband and two sons would be dead of…

I watched the show with Lil Buddy (12 weeks) whilst enjoying the luxurious ambiance and delightful company at Gate 45 at EWR, and then celebrated with Buddy’s first airplane pretzel. We are solid CJ fans 4ever.

I’m ready

We would all be suffering if forced to bind our pretties right across the nipple with wired ribbon from Hobby Lobby.

Me three! Ouchie!

I have always been jealous of the super muscle under her chin that will simply NOT DROP. I mean, the boobs have always been great, but I’d trade both of mine for a jawline.

Sooooooo.....the message I’m getting is it’s better to wear food than eat it?

The only reason I would ever be nice to a Kardashian is to get invited to watch this masterpiece of feminist history with them in their kastle. That would be amazing and I could die happy.

Reciting the cast list at dinner parties has brought me such joy for the last two months. First you hit ‘em with John Travolta, then finish ‘em off with AND DAVID SCHWIMMER AS ROBERT KARDASHIAN. The fallout is spectacular. I made one guy’s wine come out of his nose.

I’m in NOLA doll. Me ‘n’ Sharon went by St Jude’s to get us some Holy watta but Sistah Roseanna tole us dey ain’t gonna be no Real Housewives of the Irish Channel. Dat nice Andy is missin da boat. Hey I got me a nice King Cake over by Breaux Mart let me cut you a lil slice.