I took two marijuanas in one night once and woke up three days later in a bathtub full of used needles and surrounded by kneeling football players.

Marijuana took my job. I went on vacation, came back and Marijuana was sitting at my desk doing the quarterly reports. Fuck!

I took some marijuana for a week one night.

I remember one time that I had a marijuana, and then got wasted on it. I was so wasted that I didn’t say no when he offered me another marijuana. I didn’t say no, because I was already dead

And the people working to protect him don’t necessarily hold his views, they’re just doing their job. So good on them.

When I read the part about feeding chili and corn muffins to the officers and agents, I felt blissful. I enjoy reading things that relate to compassion, I think it seems to be overlooked in our social interactions. I don’t agree with the little bit that I know about Pence, I feel pity when I think about him, and I…

Use your fucking eyeballs fucktard.

Or maybe the schmuck just didnt know that what most people think means “ok” means something more to some people. Jesus, you guys are worse than the right sometimes.

I dunno. The number of dudes who think I want to fuck them just because we made eye contact as we passed each other on the street would suggest this is a more common phenomenon that you contemplate.....

I find your research intriguing and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

Yes.

I was a political science major, and I have been doing a lot of thinking about what a Jones upset would mean. It’s pretty significant, and requires a fair amount of nuanced thinking. So I apologize in advance if this gets kind of dense and long, but here’s the analysis of someone who studies and thinks about this…

All true Canadians know there is only one proper use of the new 280 character limit on Twitter. | Tous les vrais Canadiens savent qu’il n’y a qu’une bonne utilisation de la nouvelle limite de 280 caractères sur Twitter.

You’re attacking someone for having suffered a sexual assault and attempted rape when he was a child. Go to hell.

Fuck your priorities

Obviously you’re basic because you’re not gifting your family pendants snatched from the local artisan fair that contain mass produced beads and shitty stones.

Oh, no. You called the most important people in my life BASIC! Oh, the insult! I rue the day I gave them jewelry they like and have sentimentality towards!

I am a loyalist. My wife and my daughters all have Tiffany initial pedants that will need to be pried from cold dead hands, among other items.