I’m so glad you were able to pull yourself out of your depression—and hey, don’t we all feel happier when our team is doing well and a bit sadder when they aren’t?

Given my dislike of football, I’m fine with all the suck being concentrated in the burgundy and gold so the Caps, Nats, and Mystics can flourish.

Not a huge Biden fan, but I’m inclined to cut him some slack here, given her injury was the most publicity a WNBA game has had in years and that he may have been a bit tad behind the news cycle, given his schedule. It’s not half as stupid or batshit crazy as the shit Trump tweets on an hourly basis.

IKR? Not only did Cruz put party over country, he put party over family. I wonder how he explained that to his wife.

I kinda long for the days when they just thought vaccines caused ASD instead of all sorts of other issues.

We should call them pro-disease.

Maybe he was. I mean, he once he leaves the team, the Nats get back to the postseason and win a wild card game.

...and left a string of bruised and battered girlfriends in his wake.

After a certain idiot coach tried to turn Wilson into a goon, it took four years of hard work to turn him into a power forward. And with Gudas and Hathaway wearing red, he has less of a need to go after guys who take liberties with his teammates.

Hey, Zdeno Chara is still playing at 41. Jaromir Jagr was playing into his mid-40s. Ovi’s a fucking machine, and I think he can play for five or so more years. He’s the only guy who has a reasonable chance of breaking Gretzky’s all-time record.

Becker didn’t conjure this procedure from the depths of his imagination. “I was given some research material,” he tells Jezebel...

In fact, you should have to pass one just in order to run for office. I dont care if its Alderman, Mayor, town fucking dog catcher, or President, you want to become a public servant, you got to pass a back-round check, a drug test, and a mental evaluation to enter.

Even in the 1980s, he was known as a reprehensible shitgibbon. The NFL didn’t want him owning a team because they considered him a “scumbag huckster.” So he tanked the USFL in a fit of pique. He always was an asshole, but if you go by the 2006 Access Hollywood tape, he was a lucid asshole until a few years ago. The…

I watch the news in the morning while doing my workout. I literally have to mute the TV when he comes on because his voice is more grating than that of Doc Emrick. 

As much as I’d love to see him and his criminal spawn rot in prison, I would be satisfied if he, his wife, her parents, and his children and their families relinquished all their U.S. assets and left the U.S. forever, never to return.

Raw-dogging porn stars while your third wife is recovering from the birth of her child.

It shouldn’t be.

He tried to break into her car. He thought it would be “funny” to scare her. And your average woman, seeing three dudes trying to break into her car at 2:00 in the morning while she was sitting inside, would probably be thinking they meant to do her serious physical harm. Matthews pulling down his pants and grabbing…

Like a young Ron Jeremy.

Given their difficulty making it out of the first round, I’d argue that for Leafs players, it starts in late April.