Get thee to Eshakti, where *all* dresses can be made knee and/or tea length, and you can customize the sleeves and bust of most. Their whole schtick is almost custom. And as a bonus, they have an enormous size range.

Hey, even blind squirrels sometimes find acorns.

Is it wrong that I like cheap red wine mixed with grapefruit juice? It looks like blood.

with all the shit going on in this world, i am getting drunk tonight on white wine like basic bitch i am .

Democratic rule of thumb: in the absence of any other info, vote for the person who is defending your right to fucking vote.

Uh, no. Just throw them in the trash.

God we need a pissing contest just for the most outrageous bridal/baby shower stories. 

You guys, my mom, who has voted republican as long as I can remember, just texted me to tell me she’s voting for Democrats this fall. I’m still not hopeful about it the election, but I feel like at least some of my belligerence has paid off. 

Soooo, where can I get my “Impolite, arrogant woman” t-shirt? Yeah, I’m that bitch.

The last time I drank tequila was in 1996. My BFF/roommate and I went to a party at a friend’s apartment. BFF was going to tell a boy she was in love with him, not knowing that he had chosen that occasion to announce his super-gayness. Whoops!

Neeson probably gave that horse an inferiority complex, and that’s memorable.

Good Lord. Why do you care? Jim sounds like a tool. All these people are way too up in each other’s business and seem fairly immature in general. Who needs all this angst when there are plenty of cool/interesting/smart folks out there who would make much better friends.

Get the fuck away from ALL these people. They're fucked up.

Fiona and I have the same body type and hobbies! We must be soulmates!

Guys I’m onto date two with a cute architect who’s four years my junior. He texts every day how beautiful I am. He’s soooooo sweet. He’s pretty, too. Might end up something cute. I dunno yet! There’s still one other first date I want to give a shot.  At least meet in person.  Wish me luck and cheers, jezzies!

Ahhhh it's Zukkapalooza! My birthday shindig!!!!!

I was a teen in the mid-90’s and lived and saw just so much stuff that was never reported. I remember some dummy giving my friend and I weed laced with god only knows what, then pinning me down in his basement while I fought him until his own dog attacked him. I was super pissed off, really respected that dog and…

If things get too intense, just say you have to go to the store for bread and then check into a motel until everything blows over.

So I recently moved to Charlotte. After spending last weekend cooped up inside hate reading Twitter (thankfully was not very affected by Florence), I did something I've never done and went on VoteSaveAmerica to volunteer to canvass for Dan McCready for Congress today. It was exhausting walking around in the 90 degree…

See also: ‘ken oath