And gravity too. Don't forget about gravity.

Back when I was in college in Boston, I worked nights at a liquor store in Mission Hill (before it got so hip). Naturally, we drank on the job when the owners weren't around, so by 11 pm on a Thursday I was usually feeling pretty tipsy. On my walk home to JP, I would often stop at a late-night sub shop and drunkenly…

I have a few stories that would rival all of these. Still open to submissions?

For real, you stir and it goes away, and then it's delicious. It's like saying a Hershey bar is better than dark chocolate.

You get a pass.

That is a ridiculously small sample size. Like smaller than these guys' penises. They are assholes, but they are not many. A bigger study would be helpful.

Or that she was enough of an individual to not bow down to Cosby, and at the time, people viewed her as the crazy headstrong one instead of the other way around.

I think you're WAY off with your interpretation.

Tell me, what's it like being a tool?

Now that's a spicy meatball!

If someone hooks up with Bobby Flay, is it called a FillLay?

So simple. So good.

INSERTED A LONG BALLOON IN PENIS TO HAVE GIRLFRIEND BLOW UP FOR SEXUAL STIMULATION AND IT BROKE

"As a matter of fact, the BEST CASE scenario here is that the Niners are fucking stupid. The worst case scenario is that they are cheap, manipulative, and indifferent to on-field success"

Seems presumptuous to throw in the towel so soon ...

Thanks for telling me what I should and shouldn't do. That's mighty considerate of you. I don't care about college sports, either, but the story they're pursuing is news involving alleged rape and cover up. But, what, because it's linked to sports, I shouldn't care? It's time for you to act like an adult and start…

I bet you live in Tallahassee ...

Fuck whatever team you root for and fuck that whole "east coast bias" nonsense. This is actually some news they're pursuing.

"Why would you read news on the phone when you have this wonderful paper right in front of you?"

It's amazing that such a douche bag is making fun of q-tips.