Something else to consider: those ornate picture frames the Victorians were oh-so-fond of actually cropped a lot of the background out of the viewing pane. What we're seeing here are the original prints in all their unframed glory. When these were matted and framed, you wouldn't see much of the human shape in the…

Yeah, but remember that death wasn't so removed from them as it is for us. People usually died at home, the undertaker would bring his wares to the house and prepare the body in the kitchen or the parlor, and wakes and funerals were held in the home. In the days before penicillin and vaccines, that meant lots of…

Stands were only used for living people to keep them still for the length of the exposure. Not only would it take a LOT more rigging to hold dead weight upright, but things like purge make posing the dead upright a pretty unpleasant experience (resulting in a wholly unappealing photo afterwards). And usually, if…

You can get the same idea with less creep if you go as Mr. Burns and your son is a greyhound puppy. This version has a fabulous bonus song to go along with it!

Ah, then maybe the dreary eastern PA weather accounts for the need for some lip color around here. The dreary weather in these parts leads to either totally washed out features or Tang-like spray tans, both cases requiring some kind of balancing act from a tube o' Revlon.

Ah. I guess the difference is I'm wearing neutral shades just so my lips don't blend in all corpse-like with the rest of my face, not bright/heavily pigmented "look at my mouth" shades that tend to characterize lipstick. My lipstick isn't heavy or obvious, nor is that of most of the professional women I know (and…

Why's that? I actually have to wear lipstick since I work in a funeral home and happen to be so washed out that the bodies tend to look better than me. I decided ponying up for some lipstick would be a nice gesture so as not to startle mourners into thinking my pallid self is an escapee from the morgue.

Ha, just saw my comment and realized I didn't specify that the "he" in my tangent refers to my grandfather. That's what I get for posting when still a little fuzzy from anesthesia.

When we learned about alkaline hydrolysis in mort school, I blurted out, "That's just a tablespoon of salt away from being a recipe for lutefisk!" Because Norwegian cuisine is horrifying. (Tangent: It's pretty much the sole reason why he immigrated to Norway. He was hungry and got tired of making soap out of the…

Indeed. Reading about this scenario reminded me of the crowd gathered around a goat giving birth at a folk festival last month. I overheard a very young girl express some concern over the event, and instead of explaining what was happening, all her mother said was, "Oh, don't worry. You'll go through this some…

I also hear a lot of snark about my nook, but they shut up pretty damn fast when I tell them that's all very well and good but as for me, content is more important than format. An excellent story or informative read isn't cheapened if it's viewed on a screen rather than a paper page— the best books are the ones that…

It's not glitter, it's pixie dust. How else are they supposed to fly through the air like that?

Dude. Kermit's hips. No. Please, please no.

No lie, I'm turning 30 in a few days, and one of my birthday gifts from my mom was orthopedic clogs and Orthoheel flip flops. Yay for flat feet. I'm killing it with the sexy.

I'll vouch for that. The mere mention triggers PTSD flashbacks. It was especially fun where I worked because a bachelor's degree was REQUIRED to answer the phone and read a script to people who called in to order cardboard boxes. Whatever, I needed medical insurance in a bad way since I had come home from Army BCT…

Indeed. Excellent idea, but since I live in a city my tomatoes were grown in a planter on my small balcony. I don't have the room for a kennel large enough to cover the whole planter, and I'd worry about the stability of balancing a cage on top of the planter. Hmmm.

Honeyed goat cheese and multigrain bread from my favorite bakery is the best lazy meal ever.

My tomato growing endeavors are on hiatus because the local thug squirrels kept using my gorgeous German Johnson beefsteaks as punching bags. Until I figure out how to successfully protect my tomatoes from the disturbingly hostile city fauna, I'll have to make do with the not-quite-beefsteak tomatoes at the farmer's…

To this day I remain obsessed with her description of the roasted pig tail. My best friend has declared petting zoos off limits to me because I always comment on how tasty the piglets look. Damn you Laura Ingalls Wilder for making pig tails sound like the tastiest delicacy in the history of ever.

"I am sure you find the "level of vitriol" "stunning" because you're not used to people speaking frankly, openly, and without apology about religion. This nation pays far too much by way of compliment to something "faith-based." "