Literally me while reading this article. I had to switch over to the camera app partway through to share my wee one’s attachment issues. I’m recovering from abdominal surgery so I have a pillow over my belly, which just makes it easier for this little beast to smoosh up against my face. She fell asleep while I’ve been…
I seriously can’t stop staring at that picture. That tote is one of the best things ever, and the leather looks so soft. And lookit the buckles on the straps! AND REXY! I LOVE REXY! She is the happiest rampager ever, and I want to hug that bag. Please give your bag a hug for me.
Holy shit, woman, I don’t know what I love more - your manfriend or that bag! You hit the jackpot twice!
I feel you. My incredible mom gave me the Drifter Top Handle in black for Christmas (but she gave it to me early, so I’ve been using it for a while), and I’m so in love with it it’s not even funny. It’s like an industrial plague doctor bag, and it’s like it was designed just for me, and the leather is so damn soft and…
I’m hardcore obsessed with Coach right now. They’ve shifted away from the hideous logo-riddled canvas and have gone back to classic, quality designs in gorgeous leather. Their current offerings are a great mix of simple/legacy designs and younger/edgier styles, and I’m loving their burnished glovetanned leather bags…
During an election season pelvic exam a few years ago, my gyno said of my uterus, “Hm, you seem to be leaning a little to the right.” The phrasing startled me and I blurted out, “Well, that’s the only part of me that does!” And that’s how I ended up having a political discussion with my doctor while she was wrist deep…
Man, I’m 34 and I don’t have ENOUGH grey hairs. I was so excited when my first one came in - it’s silver and shiny and I currently look like I’ve got a random smattering of tinsel in my hair. I’m trying to wait patiently for a wicked villain streak to blossom, but it’s taking too long. I want my evil to gleam, dammit!
Exciting! That’s awesome that the corpse water blister story didn’t scare you off (if nothing else, this job provides endless anecdotes. You’ll be the delight of every dinner party, until you stop receiving invites because most people don’t want to hear about what a leg with necrotzing fasciitis looks like while…
I am! Not gonna lie, it’s a really awesome job. I lasted about 10 years in the real world, hating my cushy corporate desk job before going to mortuary school and beginning my career as a funeral director/embalmer/crematory operator. It’s an exhausting job and there are some horrifying aspects (FOR INSTANCE! Today I…
YES. Same with undertaker suits. Tahari and CK are my two favorite brands for boring black suits, but when I went shopping last week, I was dismayed to see all kinds of trendy bits like faux-leather collars and little chains and stuff. That would be fine if I worked at a mortuary that catered to bikers and metal…
I grew up in a weird little bubble and never really made the "red lipstick = sexy" connection. In high school, I favored bold reds not because I wanted to look like a sexy sexy lady, but because I liked looking like I'd just torn out my enemies' throats with my teeth. (Related: in high school, I had not yet mastered…
Probably missing the old cookies. I'm your opposite - grew up on Samoas, was stuck with CdLs for about a decade. My enthusiasm for Girl Scout cookie season waned dramatically since the CdLs just aren't as tasty to me. But this year I found myself a Samoa dealer and the habit is back in full force. I still haven't…
The Youth Who Could Not Shiver and Shake has been my favorite since I was a toddler. The juxtaposition of the creepiness of the events, the obliviousness of the protagonist, and the corniness of the punchline is just sublime. The scene with the hanged men around the campfire has always been one of my favorite moments…
Sweet. Maybe now my "Bring Back the Beak" campaign for PPE will finally get some traction.
At least he got a Manhattan! Last month, I ordered a Manhattan and the bartender gave me a snifter of whiskey. I had to explain why that wasn't a Manhattan. On the bright side, I got extra cherries!
I'm dark haired, pale complexioned, and have corpse lips. Black Honey is my go-to for a little bit of berryish color, but Urban Decay's new Sheer Revolution lipstick in Rapture is a pretty fantastic formula and color that makes me look alive and natural. One swipe gives me the "Look, I'm a living, breathing,…
Eh, that's more of a henchman laugh. It's crude and lacking the sly, oily purr of a true supervillain chuckle. /evil laugh snobbery
