“Welcome to the Hotel California . . .”

I found the key to let myself out of doomscrolling hell when Musk bought Twitter and I’m not voluntarily going back there.

I’m more and more convinced that this “internet” thing was a terrible idea which will kill us all. (Yeah yeah yeah, I get the irony of posting this via the internet.)  

One second you’re a billionaire, a hundredth of a second later you and your son are smears of DNA on the walls of the crap-assn submersible you took to be Titanic tourists.

“Movies are being killed by franchises.”

How hard is it to mimic a dial tone with awkward pauses, really?

Oh gosh, how will the world survive without more space soap opera sequels, aquatic melodramas, and live action cartoons for grown men who still talk about Batman? It’s a tragedy for all the men children!

The only thing more embarrassing than thinking she can pull off that green dress is thinking that a single sentient being will buy her bullshit about Twitter becoming “the world’s most accurate real-time information source and a global town square for communication.”

That ship was torpedoed and sunk long before Musk…

$10 a day isn’t even a decent tip on what WFH is worth to me.

You sound like a NIMBY fuck throwing up the drawbridge to keep everyone out who didn’t arrive when you did. Pound sand, bro. 

Those advertisers aren’t ever coming back. 

I’d bet that a low-dose oral version of these drugs will be available OTC in 24 months or less.

Remind me again how those little flags that pedestrians are supposed to use at crosswalks are going to fix the problem of shitty drivers? 

How long until the EU threatens to ban Twitter for leaving the misinformation code and abandoning fake image moderation to its users?

They’re kidding themselves. It was worth half what Musk paid for it and has been bleeding value ever since, so the bank is slow-rolling their loss, trying to spread it over multiple quarters. Twitter’s user base and data means it will never reach a zero valuation, but it’s certainly trending that way.

Imagine being such a whiny pissbaby that you throw your toys out of the crib because your favourite fried chicken joint isn’t putting enough bigot sauce on your sandwich? 

Looking at that gallery of awfulness, I’m convinced that Trump should have stuck with “Meatball Ron” as a nickname.

Musk showing some genius level four dimension thinking by making sure that Trump voters hate him as much as Democrats and liberals.

Well, Uber may be a cesspit, but at least it’s profitable, right . . . right?

Whatever, Karen.