i know is still early in a morning, but sarcasm, man sarcasm

There’s also Steve Martin. He’s a wild and crazy guy.

Painters tape. Lay down a couple of layers, peel off carefully. Should do the trick.

“I don’t follow college sports.”

Wait what. Now I'm scared of this weird sore throat I have right now that is kind of at the base of my throat. Oh god. I'm going to die.

But it happens so often I never get a chance to tangent properly!

So Louisiana is both an open and concealed carry state, and yet this man is shot solely on the basis that he is carrying a gun?!?! And the NRA keeps telling us that arming ourselves makes us safer?!? Oh, right, black. Sigh.

The department’s spokesperson Cpl. L’Jean McKneelytold The Advocate that officers were usually given “a day or so to go home and think about it” before being interviewed.

No floppy disk drive either, sorry.

No floppy disk drive either, sorry.

You should meet my wife.

TGAC(Top Gear After Clarkson) is horrible. It has nothing to do with the hosts although the Screaming Guy does suck pretty bad. It’s more the producing and writing. I bet you could take an old script and run the Joey and Screaming Guy through it and it would be a decent show. Obviously that won’t work as we’ve seen…

cat’s don’t seem particularly fond of cats.

There’s also John Oliver’s barfing Lincoln:

the people who tell others they cannot stand at a concert are the worst and should be shamed.

No. I will die creating a crossfire that increases the chances of collateral damage and causes first respondents to have more difficulty sorting out who was the original killer and who just believe themselves to be Rambo.

Her voice is so fucking important.

After buying the gun, she immediately drove to a police station to turn it in, where she was met with confusion about what she was trying to do. Ultimately, it took longer to hand the weapon over to the police than it did to purchase it.

“But even if France had a mass shooting as deadly as the Paris attacks every month, its annual rate of gun homicide death would be lower than that in the United States.”