The Central Arkansas State Indentured Servants

My older brothers exclusively referred to the long sideburns I foolishly wore in high school as my “Brady Andersons”, as in “check out Kyle rocking the fucking Brady Andersons over here.”

you guys, this circle jerk is getting so intense, Bob Kraft is on his way down here in his plane.

TWO GURLEYS ONE CUPP IS GONNA GO ALL THE WAY THIS YEAR

Plenty more like it to come, if this is any indica tion

I dunno, but it probably took you four hours to drive 5 miles.  Welcome to Atlanta!

Freshman high school rec league basketball. I was already on the high school freshman team and would go on to play JV and two years of Varsity, so I was one of the better players still in this league (there was an unspoken rule that if you played organized AAU or school ball, you should kind of bow out of this league)…

If there’s a college scholarship in it somewhere, I’m listening.

For me, that would be a bottle of rye whiskey on the beach and a long swim as far out in the water as I could get before letting go.  Unthinkable.

Pineiro nicknames by week 4:

I can’t remember the comedian, but Nate’s “fauna” reference reminded me of a bit about men vs. women at strip clubs that was essentially “there you have the women, hooting and hollering, giving high fives, having the time of their lives, laughing with friends......you ever seen men at a strip club?.....You ever seen…

He’s never eaten meat despite all our efforts, so it’s pretty much peanut butter crackers, goldfish, bushels of fresh fruit, pancakes, and pasta with marinara sauce. I mean, I am 6'2/220 lbs and my wife is no coxswain, so he was never gonna be petite. But the sweatinness, my god, the sweatiness... 

Popeye’s AND Fourth Meal reference?  User name checks out...

My kid is rather large (45 pounds at 2.5 years old) and towers over 4-5 year olds. What is the number one thing I get from strangers or people I am introduced to? “BOY, LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT A LINEMAN ON YOUR HANDS BETCHA CAN’T WAIT TO SIGN HIM UP”

The tweet was already deleted! How this stuff manages to get past so many people at a place like ESPN where controversy is anathema to everything they do, I will never know.

Yet another place I wasn’t expecting to find corn, but went ahead and ate anyway

We don’t need the NFL for that, we have the U.S. military

Everyone knows they’ve been cursed by an angry lava god for like 50 years now.

That’s because the dog is trained only to subdue a suspect if the situation suspect is completely black and white.

I looked it up out of curiosity for my hometown AA affiliate. A group of Squirrels is technically a “scurry,” so that would be heartfelt condolences from the entire “Flying Squirrels Scurry.”