Any history major worth his salt can tell you it’s best to adopt a Spartan lifestyle when travelling through Laconia.

This was a personal favorite snippet of mine that was edited out as well:

Now we get to go 8-8 for about 4 years until everyone gets paid/quits/signs with another team/retires/dies and we go straight back to 4-12/6-10 range which is where we belong.

Counter-Counterpoint:  That is obviously a joke and a pretty tame one, from a guy who is stuck covering one of the worst teams in MLB history (The Tigers currently have a worse record than the Orioles.  THE ORIOLES!) and Justin Verlander should stop being a thin-skinned pissbaby

A pale-feathered hawk that constantly calls the cops on red-tailed hawks and black kites

Glenn Fleshler.  He is also hilarious in Season 1 of Barry.

....Goose?

This is real real dumb and you should feel bad about writing it

Parkey’s immediate scurrying to the Today Show or Good Morning America or whatever to start his redemption tour, without team authorization, before half the team had landed back home after that loss had plenty to do with him being cut as well.

Thumbs up emoji replies are fine with me, but there is a special circle of hell reserved for iPhone users who are in a group chat that has at least 1 person with an Android and insist on using the “reaction” emojis. Between iPhones, they go right above the other person’s text rather than a new line, but throw an…

This is maybe the first group of team submissions that shouldn’t be renamed Why Your Dad Sucks, but Kevin had me worried there for a minute in the last letter.

Not true.  I have watched him shoot free throws and I think each of his hands count as defenders for all the work they do to prevent a basket.

That whole “light” or “low-carb” thing goes out the window when guys are slamming 18 Bud Lights a night just to get a buzz, though. I’ll gladly drink 2-3 yeast bomb IPAs in the 7-9% ABV range with the caloric value of an entire pound cake instead of having a gallon of fizzy pisswater sloshing around in my gut all…

Mockelle Fultz

Jesus. Looks like Tom Hiddleston using one of those Russian-made old-face filter apps.

Count this among the things Das Racist taught me with their summer banger “Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell” including such lyrical wizardry as “I’m at the Pizza Hut! I’m at the Taco Bell! I’m at the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell!”

However, here at Deadspin, we are laser focused on serving Deadspin readers sports and everything related to sports; with that in mind, here are the flavors of White Claw “hard seltzer” ranked by how good they are at the very popular U.S. sport of football.

My opinion was forever altered in their favor after they allowed this to be their official music video for Hopeless Wanderer- perhaps the greatest video the internet has ever blessed us with

Complete shame that she didn’t even get the nostalgic “So long, thanks for the memories” blog post that has been a mainstay for just about every staff departure over the last decade, not to mention the amount of space dedicated to former editors leaving like Leitch, Daulerio and Marchman.

One of my favorite things about the Evansville, IN airport is that it has two “concourses” - A and B.  I am pretty sure there is only one gate on each side and I could putt a golf ball from one to the other.