Remember kids, you count on Clay, you’ll end up poor; and poor kids get lice.

And yet try to tell this man there’s no difference between Pat’s and Geno’s. 

Your move, Bills Mafia.

Tom Brady: somehow the one white guy on the Pats who *can’t* catch a pass

I’d like to think this might dissuade other cities from giving billionaires money for stadiums in the future. Also, I am an extremely dumb person.

In 2019. In 2019. And they can still profit off it. C’mon man. What a fucking farce. Giving idiots a year warning, they can only expect even more motherfuckers in redface. Fuck.

They didn’t completely fuck it up. He got manslaughter instead of murder. Baby steps. Soon we will get actual justice for all.......I hope.

When it’s time to shut down MSU athletics, can we all unite to stop this one thing that will inevitably happen before it even starts? Let’s all band together and make sure every potential recruit gets this:

No, but he killed the Carolinas for a while.

It’s like if Thursday Night Football were every game.

I hadn’t heard the myth that women never lie about abuse. What I have heard is that roughly 2% of assault and abuse accusations are fabricated by women. We can quibble over that number but surely you agree the overall percentage is pretty low, right?

“Hello everyone, today’s non-stop flight to Cooperstown will involve a brief layover in Providence, Rhode Island.”

“Hello Curt Schilling, this is the director of the Hall of Fame, and ahhh, yup. You got in. Congrats buddy. Now we’re going to need to get you to a promotional event. It’s going to be at 5037 Connecticut Avenue, Washi...Oh, you know the address. Cool, also remember to eat my ass Baba Booey, Baba Booey”

I GOT THIS ONE!

The fan ought to make sure he’s within his rights to keep the medal—otherwise, he could be charged with larseny.

me texting at the 2-minute warning: “I can’t believe I’m here rooting for Andy fucking Dalton”
me yelling at TV 1 minute later: “YOU BEAUTIFUL FUCKING GINGER PRINCE!!!”

“SWALLOWED A PEN BECAUSE NO ONE PAID ATTENTION TO HIM”

Wow, the last place I’d expect this story from is Florida.

We have, as of this week, two rescue greyhounds in the home. An understanding of their behavior is now dawning upon me...

A stable secular democracy elects a guy, who while a bit conservative and disdainful of civil liberties, at least promised a return of national pride. Sure some of his more extreme views might be cause for concern, but the nation had a strong liberal constitution in place to safeguard against this. Nothing to worry…