SLPD Party Organizer #1: “OK. We have $2,500.00 left in the budget for Fredbird and the Police Lives Matter sign. How much does Fredbird cost again?”
SLPD Party Organizer #2: “$2,499.97.”
SLPD Party Organizer #1: “Perfect.”

+1

Why is DeAndre Jordan is spending his offseason working with the Cubs?

before I make a final decision, I measure nine times and I cut once

+1

I miss when the deadspin comments were only dying

also the parks and rec guy told him he had an 18-inch johnson

Baseball types have all sorts of rituals for when they’re “not well”. For instance, Tony LaRussa tries to walk single-file in a line and recite the alphabet backwards.

Apt, considering the Canadiens have proved themselves to be a worthy Challenger.

chusetts

Brady: [tosses these idiots under the bus]
These Idiots: [quickly deflate the tires]

that’s what made it so amazing...

Ellis: “Oh, I’ll try it. I’ll try it. I’m not playing anyway.”
Manager: “What the fuck are you talking about? You’re starting!”
Ellis: [pitches no-hitter with a massive hard-on]

Dispatch: “We got a report of a fucked-up white guy who insists he’s a net.”
Cops: [arrest Andrei Kirilenko]

“Even though tiger and I were together for years, it never seemed like we had a real relationship.”

Quintero then tried to scratch his belly to make it feel better, but he was totally unqualified.

I agree that putting numbers in place of letters is a stupid trend. I can’t even figure out what word “49ers” is supposed to be.

Reminder: Josh Hamilton Is Still Out Here Doing Dope, Baseball Things

[sings every Tragically Hip song at the same time]

You gotta give Vince Coleman credit - being dead for nearly 70 years didn’t stop him from stealing over 100 bases in a season.