This is an insane coincidence, because the only thing that Germanwings cared about was how Andreas Lubitz played football.

“I couldn’t be me, babe. I was wearing a rubber.”
-Nemeth, in nine months

"Top-Wearing" is the weirdest fucking adjective I've ever seen to describe a well-dressed tank.

The match has been suspended due to the incident.

Kessel also got mad at booth yesterday when he couldn't fit in his seat at McDonald's.

Getting rid of "dingers" is a bad move.

Yeah, but if you play it backwards, it's an auctioneer selling priceless Satanic heirlooms.

Moron. +1

+1

Police: "You fucking pervert. Did you edit these videos in any way?"
Weitzell: "It's mostly uncut."

It took me a while, but I finally saw the reflection of the cameraman's balls in the kitchen cabinet glass.

Police also arrested Ford on 36 outstanding charges of stealing bases.

This is great. +1

"Les Miles"
-the airplane

This is bullshit. There's no way that's live.

love you samer

Tim Breedlove, the accountant who sent the letter, confirmed that Smith planned these gifts out before his death. "It was his plan," Breedlove said over the phone.

While no pro football teams have expressed any interest in him, several MLB scouts are exploring his potential as a reliever.

[hurls my head through my desk with enough force that it creates a new sun for a picosecond]

Oh, like in the poem? I understand this reference exists.