First time I've ever seen anything decent from Banjo on this site.

Chilton left the apartment and disappeared, according to Shaw.

Wow, if you can be "legally intoxicated" at .287, how drunk do you have to be for it to be illegal?

Good Cop: "All right, we've got everything in place to charge this asshole with battery."
Bad Cop: "No, that's impossible."
Bad Cop: [throws his depleted cell phone into the garbage, just like every other day]

[too late]

No, it's snot.

Coach always said there's no eye in team.

Looks like he's been Frozen.

+1

Smart Student: [writes essay about the true nature of the AFAM department]
Everybody: [turns in the same paper]

Also troubling for the Cowboys are the constant visits from emergency personnel to Tony Romo's house every time his LifeAlert monitor goes off.

Demographic: Married men with three kids whose rooms are near yours
Average Duration: Leave enough time to pull out
Suggested Accompaniment: John Cage, 4'33"

You laugh, but this guy lost eight pounds of self-respect in a week.

+1

+1

People call these guys divas, but this proves that they're actually quite hardscrabble.

Idiot. +1

Jesus. +1

The good news is that by age 50 Marcus will be right at the median among ex-football players as to how many NFL games they remember playing in.

I love this.