This post was everything. It’s like you reached into my brain, grabbed all my thoughts, organized them into words instead of the grunts and sighs I was expressing, and placed them neatly on the internet to be read. I thank you. We all thank you.

Pretty sure that’s the worst thing I’ll see today. Glad to get it over with early. Thanks.

She’s not wearing her signature red lipstick, which is part of it I think... but maybe they also made her face more angular? Idk. That’s more like Rita-bot. Actual Rita was drinking a Slurpee and watching Gossip Girl on Netflix at the time. (She looks like she enjoys Slurpees. And Gossip Girl.)

Dear Peter Gelzinis,

I never believe anything I'm told on April 1st, anyway. If you make any sort of big announcement, you're gonna have to wait until the 2nd for me to acknowledge it. Sorry. Them's the breaks.

Album art by the Chick-Fil-A cow.

Enjoyed the review, hated the interrupting "Oh! Woo! Ah!" from the people around her. I wanted to punch the guy next to her.

I am a born and bred Texan, and this shit is hilarious. My country ass approves this message.

Yeah, a 60-day sentence, which, considering all that he's done, should have been multiplied by at least 10. And there's a ton more he could be tried for.

Don't you just love it when these things work out? Now, if we could find a way to convict him for his crimes here in the good ol' U.S.A., I'd dance naked in Times Square wearing a Ryan Gosling mask.

Well, fuck Bravo anyway. I don't need a reason.

Naya, girl, shut UP. Just shhhh.

My response in a photo:

I'm a Delta, and I've been sighing heavily over this for the past 3 days. Anyway, hey there D9 sister. *waves*

Is that a... paperclip? Clothing tag hook? WHAT IS IT

Sorry. As he was dying. Still. They stood there.

And, as always, their "instructions" are so irrelevant. "Lie down on the ground?" They shot that poor baby as soon as they rolled up beside him. And they stood there as he died. A child. My God.

What a bag of shit this is. Not the writing, of course. The actual fact that we STILL have people claiming they're not racist after they parade around in blackface and KKK costumes.

These are amazeballs. Keep em comin'.

#WhenDudeBrosRunYourSoundboard