I’m really struggling hard with this and frightened by it. I wonder if that’s the dynamic he has with his wife. Is he capable of loving anyone?

Full disclosure, I can’t fully accept it yet. He played the part of the loving boyfriend perfectly. He put on a hell of an act for me... all the stuff he did was what you would do for people you love. He was really emotionally supportive all the time.

Thank you! I think that will be helpful for me

Me too. It’s so damn hard when every single thing reminds me of him.

If you did, you’ll see that in no way did I try to steal another woman’s husband. I just found out they were married. I find your victim blaming disturbing. In my original post, as a lot of people have pointed out, I’m struggling with a lot of self-blame and not trying to shirk responsibility. You’re zeroing in on one…

I LOVE the database idea. How amazing would it be to just type their name in somewhere and get a dating history?

I’ll check her out.... thank you!

Awww, thank you. It was sort of a feeling. After I confronted him about the wedding things, I knew his MO was to run away and hide. He was quiet and then started spouting excuses about how he was afraid I would leave him. I think it’s cowardly to lie to the person that you “love”

I will try. thank you for the kind words :)

Those make sense. I left this part out of my story, but 2 weeks ago, I told him “I feel like I only fit in your life when it’s convenient for you.” He got uncharacteristically upset and I told him I wasn’t trying to insult him. We talked and I told him I feel weird about not knowing his family/dogs and that I can’t…

Yes! What’s helping is imagining myself in this situation 10 years from now after building a home and a life with him. I’m glad I didn’t hold off on school for him

Thanks so much. The burning rite does feel like too much right now, but I think I’m going to use the candle idea :)

You sound awesome for cutting him off right then and there. What an insane thing to lie about. I wish I could be more like you.

I’d loooove to get on a flight right now, go to the hotel he’s at and look him in his lying face.

While I appreciate your two cents, I don’t believe you read my post. Fair enough, as it was way too long. But please don’t extrapolate from what you skimmed.

Whoa, wtf?! I wish I could be as badass as your friend. I would love to pay M a visit and douse him with red wine. Thank you for your kind words and insight <3

You’re so right <3 I can’t imagine going through this again

Thank you. I feel like people like M destroy that quality in others. Even though I’m sarcastic on the outside, I really do believe the best of people and when I love, it’s genuine and open. I feel like he has taken that from me. If the person I cherished more than anything else could be so full of shit, what else am I…

That is possibly the worst part. 3 weeks ago, if you’d asked me how certain I was we’d be together in 5 years, I would have said 97%. We were freaking talking about our future house and vacations and shit. A lot of people have answered this here, but the biggest mindfuck is my certainty that he was The One. Like, why…

Yes!