My university only offers 10 sessions/year. I’m going to try to go outside of school so I can get more. I just have to figure out my new insurance situation. I knew I needed it once I had so much trouble adjusting to the move, but now I definitely need it. I can’t handle this by myself. I think you’re right....…

Just did! The only thing I have to worry about are the nudes. He saves pictures forever, and I have a hunch he’ll use them for his own devices... twisted. Aren’t revenge porn laws pretty solid these days?

Just Ella.... is that the one where the prince is a boring asshole and she has to run away? That was my jam as a…

Thank you! I’m glad he doesn’t have facebook and I don’t know his family. I don’t think I’m going to date at all for the next couple years, especially since it would just end up another LDR. I don’t even want to have sex.

I think I’m sort of a weakling though. I’ve cried more days than not since I’ve been in New York (14 months now!) just because I missed LA. I couldn’t even handle being away when I thought I had the most supportive boyfriend around. Urgh.

Thank you. This is a really understanding reply. If I needed therapy before, I definitely need an intensive version now. I don’t think I’ll have to worry about him contacting me.

This made me laugh. It’s so true. If I had any doubt, his silence is answer enough that he is fucked up

Thank you! I can’t stand the idea that he’ll never have to answer for himself, but his “answers” would probably be lies anyway,

Oh god, I can’t even imagine how I’d deal with this with a child in the mix. You sound incredibly strong and I bet you’re a great mother. I too feel very ashamed because part of me hopes M is a real person who meant what he said and will magically be who I thought he was. It’s not our fault that we loved master…

I’m sure, but I like to believe he’s part human and can feel some of this pain. Maybe I should stop thinking that way, but it gives me comfort to think of him feeling even a bit as bad as I do.

The brain tumor thing is so fucked but it cracked me up. My friend (who was living on the east coast, I was on the west, or I would have made them meet) speculated very early on before I knew CK existed, that M had a comatose wife, and he couldn’t pull the plug/leave her. And she was in a hospital bed in the living…

thank you! I’m so shocked to learn how many gaslighters are out there. I’ve always known emotional abuse flies under the radar, but I wouldn’t have applied it to myself. I can completely believe that of him about the manipulating, sadly. He fell off my mother’s radar somehow. She loved him like her own son and got him…

Thank you! It’s so useful to hear from people who have been in this situation. I’m lucky in that we had very few physical ties since I went out of state. I never met any of his friends or family (how did I forget to mention that in my post?). How do you recommend dealing the memories? I took him to all my favorite…

Thank you, I will check that book out! I think the closure I want is to hear from his own mouth what the fuck he was thinking. But maybe you’re right, I think I’ve been waiting to hear that this was a misunderstanding.

This has been in the back of my mind, but I’m really concerned about that. All he’s sent me is dick…

Thank you. My mom said today that she is now hoping he doesn’t contact me again. Maybe he would be able to pull me back into his shitty fucking web of deceit, and that frightens me

HAH! You seriously don’t know how much that makes me smile. He was always tripping over himself to convince me that we should live in Oregon.

I hope you’re well away from P now. I don’t understand how people can do that to others. Thank you.... it helps so much to hear I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m finding it hard…

Yeah, of course. I didn’t mean to come off as insulting to her. You’re right, I got vibes from her on the phone, but I have no idea what she’s like because I don’t know her. I’m actually not eating much either, and I’ve lost 5 lbs since this happened. It’s common but I really believe it’s a bit indicative of…

You kind of have this weird taunting vibe in your post. I’m not sure what I did to rub you the wrong way, but please don’t do that. As for the wife, I’m not insulting her.I feel badly for her and I hope she can extricate herself

Oh absolutely. Whenever I complimented him, he’d say “Duh, I’m amazing.” There’s a saying that people who go into mental health do so for a reason. It’s a stereotype, but I’ve found it pretty true. I saw his white knight shtick from the beginning. We actually bonded over a client who had a huge crush on him. I thought…

No, you’re right, and I appreciate your perspective! He was like sinking into a warm bath, my favorite thing in the world. He’s no better than an addict. To be honest, I am in my mid twenties, he is in his mid 30s and this is (wait, WAS) my first relationship. He seemed kind of bothered that I’d never had any…

Yeah. I know it sounds odd, but our relationship started off as a discussion of our shared sexual interests. I sent him links to toys to demonstrate what I like and he ended up buying a lot of them or dupes. One was my hitachi because I told him I broke my old one from overuse. Hence why I didn’t think our…