i never said the word pill, but now that you mention it, it fits.

“They would look at the most elderly guy in my entourage and address him as the Prime Minister.”

She’s cute and all, but sorry, no. There will never be another Anne for me.

Cute kid! Also, fuck this remake straight to hell. Megan Follows is a Canadian goddess. Not to mention all their comments about being “off book”...NO. JUST NO.

HOW DARE YOU

The saddest part to me is that she went to all that trouble getting dressed up and alerting the paparazzi for 37 likes:(

The position of the first pic doesn’t seem sexy to me. It reminds me of “bad naked” from Seinfeld.

I don’t know who Phoebe Price is, but the fact that she decided to do a sexy photoshoot at what appears to be a Whole Foods is...disconcerting.

“I’m so very sorry, but when we were stitching you up Dr. WTF sewed his finger to your labia. It didn’t worsen the tear, but fluids mixed and we do need to do an HIV test. After we re-sew.”

SPOILER ALERT- THE SHIP CRASHES INTO THE ICEBERG AND LEO DICAPRIO FREEZES TO DEATH EVEN THOUGH KATE WINSLETT HAD ROOM FOR ANOTHER PERSON ON THE DOOR!!!

People are SO MUCH MORE LIKELY to assume that two women are just friends when they are actually fucking than the other way around.

It is possible to have humans stay in the same room but not in the same bed. Like having a dogbed at the foot of the bed, except instead of a cushion for your loyal companion it’s a crib for a baby who will not appreciate it. Also, it is probably off to the side.

Can we talk about the mail? I’ve been dying to talk about the mail with you!

First, for the sake of your sanity stay away from that stuff. Those posts always end up with the sanctimommies ruining everything and making everyone else weep. I had a c-section with my youngest. It was a traumatic, emergency kind of deal and I will spare you the rest- but I did not get to actually see the kid let…

I’m just upset I didn’t think of that scam before. I should have charged all my dumb relatives $20 bucks a pop and paid for JujyJr’s first two years of college! A bargain in comparison!

$40 for some “skin to skin” is a bargain if you’re in Vegas.

Boy that must be a great baby if it’s worth forty bucks just to touch it.

Don’t do cocaine and Ecstacy and ayahuasca and drink and anchor, you mean.

Monica: What?! What is it?