“Droplets of water clung to his moustache and his hair stood out in dark, wet ringlets.”

but who can resist that stache

Are they sure they have correct sister?

“We need to change our names, but I really wanna keep using all my monogrammed stuff...”

GAAAAAAAAH WHAT THE HELL DOES “ESTABLISHMENT” EVEN MEAN?!

Theon could fuck a woman in all the same ways his sister can.

Says Whom*

It’s terrible for everyone, but I would especially hate to win a medal at the Olympics and then not be able have sex for two months.

Maybe we aren’t siblings. And maybe that’s very, very right.

which also included a side of mansplaining NYPD officer, because of course:

It’s there because I put it there.

I feel like everyone is being defensive about their toilet right now, so I’m just gonna come out and say it: I’m a filthy dirty slob and I don’t clean my bathroom regularly. I’m a nasty-toilet witch here to make everyone feel better about their own habits, and freeing all of you from feeling potentially judged.

Suggested baby names for the tiniest Stodden:

Maybe he had another cigarette that he had to put out but there were no more ice machines around?

36H here and a runner. I LOVE my panache sports bras. Anyone who recommended Champion or Old Navy for a busty woman really fails to understand physics. Comparing those w Panache is like comparing a butter knife from a college cafeteria to a chefs knife. Not even in the same league.

Contrary to all of your body’s survival instincts, this is not, in fact, fatal.

Re: Naomi’s mother, traditionally there’s nothing white Southerners fear more than looking poor, because that means they’re no better than Negroes.

Scrotal Hematoma would be such a great name for a band. Probably death metal.

DRY HEAVING PENIS oh mygod

Mason jars: for when you want people to know your sperm is artisinal.