I don’t know who 95% of these people are and they look like they’re all dressed for a goddam pool party. I feel like Bill Murray in a bathrobe, making a Kermit the Frog face.

I'm sorry to say I was at a resort in Mexico last month where there were mostly European guests, and all the girls were wearing Spice Girl platform sandals. Which means they'll be hitting the U.S. any day now.

Agreed. OF COURSE there are things out there already made that would be fine for extras. She strikes me as someone who is absolutely unable to give up any bit of control over the costuming, to the point where she's spending way too much time making everything even when it's not necessary. I mean, she's obviously…

That...mouse image isn't helping.

I read somewhere that a full third of all boys born in the U.S. in the past X years have names ending in the -aden sound. So much for originality.

Anthropologists of the future/observers from outer space are going to have a field day with this one.

TOTAL m’lady situation.

That’s true — I saw Kelly Osbourne once (in the era when she appeared to be a pudgy teenager on TV) and I was surprised at how tiny she was (and simultaneously relieved that no one was watching me on TV).

Yeah, she is full of hot shit if she says she wears a 6-8. I’m the same shape and weight as her, maybe a couple inches shorter, and I wear a 10 on a good day.

Many years ago, my pun-loving boss received an application for a job opening from someone with the last name Cheeseman. We whiled away many a happy hour composing an imaginary response to her. “Dear Ms. Cheeseman, thank you for your very gouda resume. We camembert to pass you up, but we havarti filled the position. We…

I havarti taken that quiz!

Yeah, it’s more like, “well, what did you expect?”

It never once occurred to me that I should go to Deadspin to see what the Jezebel writers were doing so ... partial fail, I guess?

Ohmygod, worm soup.

Redd Foxx has some advice on this subject:

Yeah, I had this once, too - I was just about to go get checked out when I was finally able to pop it, and it went away almost immediately and I thought, “oh, it was just a big zit!” But it was probably the clap. (This was pre-Dr. Google.)

Over-the-top narrative about over-the-top prom fantasy? Makes sense that the girl on the cover is wearing what appears to be a housecoat in a bathroom, sure.

Me, too! And it makes me feel so happy that we all have these garbage hairs.

OMG, I have that white eyebrow hair, too.

I love your username! That’s one of my favorite Buffy scenes.