I was convinced that there was a “wrong” way to flush the toilet that would cause it to explode. I had nightmares about it.

I could totally see him doing this on Twitter after a couple of bong hits, which seems to be his M.O.

Pretty sure they haven't just found out. They wait until they're ready to announce and either use the test they took a couple of months ago or do a new one.

I just found out that not only has my husband never seen Moonstruck, he doesn’t even know what it’s about and “thinks it looks cheesy.” I've married a monster.

“Buckle up, buckaroos” is now something I say WAY too much.

Dr. Spaceman?

This could be right out of the mouth of Edina Monsoon. Truth in caricatures, etc...

So, when you emigrate to Canada do you get to marry Justin Trudeau automatically, or...?

Yup, same here. I would be devastated if this happened to my embryo. But if I were the recipient of someone else’s embryo, I think I would have to have the abortion. There’s no way I would be able to either serve as the surrogate for someone else’s child, knowing that I wouldn’t get to keep it (this seems like the…

Of course this happens during IVF procedures. The problem here was a mixup in chain of custody of the embryos—they were mislabeled.

John Lennon was killed on December 8, 1980—not 1981. #corrections

Visibly pregnant, Dolezal

There's also another whole category in the back of the drawer, and that's Decorative Bras. I have a pile of shitty/slutty bras that I bought when I was dating but I have to say that now that I've been with my husband for 10 years he mostly gets to see the industrial-strength bras that I actually wear in real life.

“THESE have always brought me luck...”

Well, she knew it couldn’t be that a lady was wearing trousers in public, so that was the only other possible explanation.

I already shared one of my mom’s great comments about my appearance in the Pissing Contest about negging. And she just emailed me to tell me that she had to put her 18-year-old cat to sleep so I'm gonna ease off on her and not post another one. But damn she could be mean about my looks when I was growing up.

Did you guys know that Tupperware is covered by a lifetime guarantee? Don’t ever throw any damaged pieces out - you can mail them in and they’ll send you a comparable replacement!

Is it possible Leslie Odom, Jr., just wasn’t wearing his glasses?

We do have them here—they’re called railfans.

Maybe Mrs. Dash is the one who infected him?