Reporter: Can you tell us how it feels to both start and finish with yourself?

Parkey: Feels? I guess a little lonely sometimes, but that is a kicker for you. These guys have groupies lined up around the block and can get into the hot clubs for free, but kickers... unless we are in a relationship we’re used to taking…

It’s not that big of a boner on the keeper, an inch or two to the left and it’s still going in.

Well you know the old saying, Old Rich White Guys are Racist Assholes.

Huh, my favourite magician has always been Harry Houdidn’tgrabmyass.

“Ewww, feet? Doesn’t he know where they’ve been?”

This is now the second time in a month that ESPN has fallen on its face while trying to discipline one of its biggest personalities for daring to talk politics on Twitter.

When I was a kid, I used to wonder, “What does ESPN stand for?”

Good for J.T. It’s about time some right wingers started protesting.

The Quicker Fucker Upper

Ben Roethlisberger introduced the players’ three choices

If anything the Bills should have been penalized five yards for being too slow.

I kneeled, but that’s because I got iced.

It’s interesting that Buffalo’s kicker is so left leaning in his beliefs, considering their most famous kicker is best known for how far right he is.

Sounds like your kids are going to have some pretty bad sunburns.

How would he classify water he drinks out of the toilet when no one’s looking? You think we don’t see you, Tom? We see you. You know better...Bad boy, Tom...Baaaaaad.

People really spend all their time posting things on a web site without any compensation? How pathetic.

So the Red Sox are still stealing signs then?

It would be even better if they kept arguing to the music...

This isn’t really fair to the Dolphins. The Bucs will be coming off a bye in week 10 and will have two weeks to prepare.

Dolphins and Buccaneers both excel in water. Let them play