You know the situation is seriously fucked up when it's getting me to like Adam Schefter

So now you've sued the only business that needs punters and slammed the only media that follows punters. You're a real fucking genius.

Riley Cooper: [Wipes Off Blackface]

Personally, I think this shows major progress on the part of Montero. Earlier in the year, he'd have just thrown an empty ice cream sandwich wrapper.

He's got a point. If you look out on the hockey rink, all you see is white.

Well, the Trojan is broken, but at least he pulled the little guy out in time.

I almost did a spit take but I don't want to come off like a prude.

So... they're sad because Vick doesn't have a dog in this fight?

It seeks unspecified money damages.

Dyslexics are surprised the family owns anything at all.

Jesus, I really don't understand sabermetrics.

Cleveland receivers made the same gesture, but only because Johnny Manziel kept throwing the ball way the fuck over their heads.

The tear gas element of the tribute, however, seems a bit too on-the-nose for me.

(1) That's Tony Stewart

Toyota is the perfect sponsor for Red Zone offense, because no matter what you try, they're unstoppable.

I'm not from Tampa Bay. Only marine life is from Tampa Bay.

NCAA to Players: It's not fair that the sports that make the most money should follow a different set of rules from all of the other athletes.

Technically, all MLB players are previously unnamed until birth, and sometimes until several days afterwards.

Any idiot could tell you this was an old photo. It's not even in color.

Assuming he signed the policy, this should actually increase Winston's draft stock as it proves he can actually read coverage.