The jobs Trump is gonna create: cheering sections when he addresses various government agencies. That’s it.

It’s official: Republicans should be barred from playing GTA. It causes them to be negatively influenced by the way they play and prompts them to go out in the real world to pass shitty legislation.

53% of white women and 14% of LGBT individuals voted for the decaying pumpkin. Those numbers are call to action, in my opinion.

I feel ya. It’s kind of hard to gauge how pro-Orange my workplace is because on Sunday, I was talking to a couple women who spoke highly favorable of the Women’s March. While, yesterday a heard a woman in the break room say how excited she is about Drumpf bringing jobs back to this country.

Those are just alternative facts you’re spouting.

I now refer to this man as “Whiny Spice”. Apologies for invoking the Spice Girls when talking about this piece of shit.

Keep poking him with that stick. He lost the popular vote by nearly 3 million. We reject him bigly.

Cookies & cream and rainbow Dippin Dots is where it’s at.

Fuck me, one of theses days, this goddamn weasel is going to cause me to Elvis my TV!

The dark, depressing, nihilistic display yesterday was not America. The Women’s Marches, millions of people coming together to protest someone placed in the highest position of this nation who doesn’t come CLOSE to representing our values. So proud of all you Bad Hombres and Nasty Women. I was with you all in…

“Too many haters who won’t admit how great I am and how impressive my victory was. Sad!”

I can pretty sum up the root EVERYTHING these mindless dickheads mean in one go: “my parents believe this shit and I don’t want to do my own research or use my own brain. So, I believe it too or whatevs, I guess.”

Twitter temper tantrum from the pussy-grabber-in-chief coming in 3...2...1.

I’ll take “things I NEVER needed to see for $500,” Alex. Serious question, though: what is Race Bannon doing there? Jonny Quest is going to need some assistance when he gets into his shenanigans.

I’m a fellow Texan and share said misfortune.

That is a perfectly valid sentiment. But, I’m not holding my breath on anyone in the GOP having a vertebrae and willingness to stand up to Orange Julius Ceasar.

Pretty sure it’s Pence that eats babies. How else do you explain that hair?

Still fucking hate Cruz the most I think. But, goddamn, if rat bastard Chaffetz isn’t quickly crawling to the top of my list.

He’s almost making Ted Cruz seem like less of a rat fucker by comparison. ALMOST.