You must have read the alternative tweet that wasn’t douchetastic. I read the actual tweet that was dickish.

Colin, JonTron and Milo: The Three Dickateers!

In a weird and avant-garde way, this is kind of brilliant. Trump blames the media so often, they should turn in back and blame him. On the other hand, I also hate the orange motherfucker, but, come on!

Can Beck Bennett from SNL play Putin in this miniseries?

Fuck me, do I seriously miss this man. Compared to agent orange, he’s a beacon of eloquence and intellect.

The calls are coming from inside the White House!

It’s all good. After all, he doesn’t need intelligence because he’s “like a smart person.”

I’m really torn on this one. On the one hand, this guy can seriously go fuck himself with a rusty chainsaw. On the other hand, GOP dudes really do believe that, but have never had the balls to come right out and say it. So, I’ll be giving this guy a pat on the shoulder and swift kick in the place where a dick once…

I agree completely. FDR would distance himself from today’s Democratic party and think it’s too conservative.

That’s the greatest thing I’ve ever heard. Seriously, Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt would disown the modern day GOP so fast, it would make your head spin.

The GOP has to publish fake Lincoln quotes, because Lincoln would be fucking appalled by what has become of his party.

Just like when I heard that Infowars was to be given press credentials and the White House denied that report. I honestly can’t tell who the fuck was lying in that event. That shouldn’t happen! We are so beyond fucked.

He’s also really fucking inept. Which might possibly be his most dangerous attribute.

My new goal is to move to California and vote in favor of the Cal-exit.

Chardonnay, denial and weed are going to be great companions over this next year, my friend.

Do we have a choice which states go? I vote for a Texit and I say that as a fucking Texan!

Just something we never really learned from the 2016 election: are we more racist or sexist as a nation? Given the Trump phenomena, would a woman, let alone a woman of color be able to be elected in a post-Trump America? I honestly don’t know.

Resisters, unite!

That’s a fair assessment. I just think after four years of Rump (if he makes it that long), people aren’t really going to care about age as much as policy by that time. Warren is charismatic, genuine and she has virtually the same populist policies as Bernie. I fucking love Duckworth and would be glad to vote for…

You’re placing a lot of faith in the idea that we still might have a country in 4-8 years. No sarcasm whatsoever here, I genuinely admire your optimism.