Please, anyone who reads this: do not put knives in the dishwasher, unless they are basic silverware butter knives.

God, I fucking hate Steely Dan!

I wish you knew how sad it made me feel to bring YOU out of the greys on Deadspin.

rude of the email of the week to make me cry tbh.

Deadspin is my go-to website. I check it several times a day. It’s a privilege to be ungreyed. I started reading in law school and believe it or not I found Deadspin because Whitlock posted some article on foxsports in like 2008 about his favorite sports websites. So you can blame him for me being here.

Honestly if all of you just disappeared off the face of the earth, I probably wouldn’t even notice the dearth of bad takes. 

Yeah, but you’re missing the point. We’re idiots. 

I believe it was Barry who called them “big business brains.”

Jokes on you, I don’t have any teeth!

I’m sorry, have we met?

He’s just going to a farm upstate!

Farmers has pulled Spanfeller’s big ad buy. This is the type of incompetence that deserves an ESPN 30 For 30. 

Fuck you. 

These dumb motherfuckers running this place stuck autoplay ads everywhere because a fucking insurance company gave them $1 million but then when they realized that all the readers hated it, the insurance company bailed on the deal. Thus leaving the readers extremely pissed about the shitty format and leaving the…

Jim Spanfeller still buys his Dockers from the husky boys section. 

Waited until the final second, then nailed the 55 yarder. Well played.

What else are you going to do?  Work?  

We may not all be as eloquent as Will at the end there, but I think it’s safe to say we all feel the same way.

Wearing a John Rocker jersey is the same as wearing a MAGA hat.

Hey Drew. You’re the best, and good luck with the brain and everything.