I’d fuck her.

I’d fuck her.

I fucked your mom.

Meh, see the players as inhuman cogs if you want. 

I see you’ve played ropey-swordy before!

Some sort of sword attached to a rope or rubber band? That sounds dangerous!

Contrast that with the Eagles handing an extra check to Foles on his way out the door as a thank you when he missed a playing time bonus by a fraction. The dang Eagles look like the good guys!

Penis.

I would be on the side of the person actually doing the work to entertain you and not some shitbag billionaire. But that’s me.

I think winning is also good. Please give me money.

I was being an ass in a totally different way than those other people being an ass. So not my fault!

DON’T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS!

This is too well thought out. Please leave the Deadspin comments immediately!

In this house, every day is Fluff Fest.

1. Getting hit by a bus.

DAMN! THAT’S TERRIFYING!

Make the contestants spell the word that I’m thinking of right now — no hints!

Living the #AmericanDream

Alcohol does help!

As someone who has been a mid-level comms person with a boss that was a shit head and unable/willing to actually handle any controversial issue, I feel for the corporate comms person. There is no way she made this decision and is in a no win situation.