Oh wow...looks like the swelling migrated over night!

I wouldn't be celebrating. I can't imagine that a used baseball is worth more than a trip to a Major League concession stand.

I must have been really drunk when I watched this game, because I don't remember these highlights at all. Of course, I'm really drunk right now too, so that could be it.

Classic soccer flop!

This just goes to show you, no matter how good you might be at your profession, if you are a big ginger, people are going to laugh at you.

He also says that people who drive cars for a living are athletes. LOL!

Patrick Beverley vs. Russell Westbrook sounds like a British boxing match.

I would say he's actually probably pretty representative of most Minnesotans, no?

You try living in Milwaukee and not wanting to punch someone in the throat.

Nothing remotely Minor about that.

Can't believe they didn't have Johnny Carson come out.

Should we let Bob Costas go back to America already? It's unanimous. The eyes have it.

He heard the player say "Fuck you" to a teammate and mistakenly thought the player had said "Fuck Yoo." Honest mistake.

@gfore @jennaatwood

There was a man from Syracuse named Ennis
Who had two large testicles and a...

They would have crashed into each other so many times, unless they were both holograms.

The vag is open?

The funny thing is that those are Dwight Howard's kids.

Who puts a bus stop that close to a soccer field anyway?

Go back to Egypt, Pharaoh!