WBAL reports he had just finished up an eight-hour blackjack session

Phelps's eyes were bloodshoot, "his speech was mush mouth,"

Want Melissa Joan Hart To Follow You on Twitter? Commit Yourself

If Hernandez didn't want people to think he was guilty, then he probably shouldn't have murdered that guy.

Of all the dangers native to lower league soccer—terrible pitches, zero security, studs-up challenges, etc.—referees taking concussive shots to the head isn't really the the first to come to mind.

How do tests that explore human social responses to crisis benefit humans?

So that WASN'T the guy from the Daily Show pro-Redskins panel, right?

"We've got two priests in here. They'd probably vouch for me."

"After further review, it has been determined that the ball carrier was not facing Mecca at the time of his celebration; therefore the penalty stands."

In other news from about a year ago:

Teddy Bridgewater said the message was "Very deep. Like, the kind of deep that takes a couple weeks before it scabs over and eventually fades away, although it will probably leave a scar."

Kirk Gibson would have ordered the pitcher to beanball the crowd.

Probably because that's a shitty thing to do.

If only there were a disinterested third party that would BUY things and test them, and then give you a marketing-free evaluation. That way you wouldn't "have" to destroy other people's property.

So weird. You would think that they'd be more likely to go into the water after they knew the Pirates were out of it.

The Cards probably would have been all right taking a dip

Fitzpatrick: I'm not a man of many words! I hate pleonasm, despise verbosity, and detest loquaciousness! I'm not going to practice circumlocution here, fellows, nor try to pass off some periphrasis as hortatory rhetoric! No! All the vainglory and speechifying—I'll leave that to others! What I want to say is LET'S GET…

You can pick up an $89 youth jersey if you'd like.

Let him stay. He's the only thing on the screen that makes any goddamn sense.

IT PUTS THE APOLOGY ON ITS PODCAST OR IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN.