You know the situation is seriously fucked up when it's getting me to like Adam Schefter

Peter King, to restaurant hostess: Hey, did you hear about Peter King's integrity?

Stepped directly on a mouse when it literally ran under my shoe. It popped.

Jesus, that's the worst thing I've read today, and I just got through Kluwe's drivel on "Why Deadspin Sucks."

Riley Cooper: [Wipes Off Blackface]

Whoa. He's eating at Cheesecake Factory? $13 million won't be nearly enough.

Dude who the fuck told you all those lies?

Fisherman: Holy hell! That thing is huge!

Is that right, Tom? Well, why don't you try telling my husband to pay attention to the Cubs? He always neglects them once football season comes around.

wait, didn't you guys to the same?

WHAT THE FUCK?! On two levels. First; this is an awful song and I can't imagine how this would take so many writers. That is insane. Second; Diplo? What the shit? Ok.

How are amphetamines not a PED though? If you can't distinguish in tests between ecstasy and Adderall, it's a problem but the solution is not to proclaim that Adderall is not a PED.

Can we also talk about people who let their kids stare at people through/over the seats and/or kick the seat of the people in front of them? Those people are also assholes.

wait for it

Are we at the point yet where we get to stop pretending that this nonsense is some sort of feminist statement?

In related news, the New York Post will no longer be using the term 'reporting.'

He's just showing support for his absent teammate.

Ley: Ichiro is the best, man.

Yeah he's seen how the stand your ground laws work in Florida...

I think he was just scared that finger gun was real