At this point I'm more familiar with JLo's breasts than my own.

HA!!!!

The shame factor of those things is no joke. I lost mine and actually ended up replacing it because seeing how goddamn low those numbers were now that I work in an office terrified the shit out of me. Not having them shoved in my face multiple times a day made it easier to be in denial.

Whatever. It may not be totally accurate but the $50 I spent on my fitbit was worth it. It 100% shames me into walking more. Judgemental numbers do so much more for me than they should. Do whatever works for you. All I know is that getting to the step goal becomes an obsession with users and it gets you moving more.

Borrowing Bristol's clothes.

Blow job week?

Unscientific opinion: at least a year

Any time you have stuff coming out of more than one orifice at a time, it's a fucking nightmare. I don't care if you're sneezing while peeing, crying while pooping, popping zits on your period (pores count as an orifice for the purposes of grossness), it's just. fucking. unfair.

As in, you've pushed so hard during your period poop that you push out your tampon as if you are pushing out a little baby? Asking for a friend.

Regarding periods, this is fantastic, and everyone should watch it:

I just sneezed and got a fun panty favor

you're saying this song was not originally written for the movie Hocus Pocus ? ;)

Maybe she's wearing a sex swing "to go".

CALLING IT: this is my and my daughter's 2015 Halloween costume.

Good evening, Jezzies! I hope everyone is having a great weekend.

would look great clutchin' dem tittays