"Why is it only games? Why is it only her?"

Flounder? I hardly know her!

Eh? Eh?

Wanty want want want

A real missed opportunity for a "Drunk in Louvre" headline.

My ovaries!

It's actually not that uncommon, sadly. A caller to the Savage Love podcast once mentioned a similar event happening to her. Dan's opinion was that (as a gay man who has had a lot of anal sex in his time) this sort of thing never happens by accident if penetration occurs. He got a flood of calls from women who…

Sad kitchen lesson I learned at a young age: Baking chocolate looks beautiful, especially when you score a full wrapped block from the cabinet, but it does not taste like Hershey's chocolate. AT ALL.

Psht, call me when turkin' makes a comeback..

I've actually commented about this on another article but my friends little sister, who is 12 years old, broke up with someone in the most hilarious and hardcore way ever. Like never in a million years would I be this clever and I am an adult. She apparently went up to her then boyfriend and said "Want to see a magic…

My fiancé called to tell that he got married, as I sat on the bed, looking at my wedding gown.

This is how my dad broke up with my mom when they were still teenagers. It should be noted that they did get back together, get married, and eventually had a long overdue divorce for which everyone is better off.

Going up, my parents were were divorced and never communicated directly. I got bounced back and forth between them a lot. Always based on what my mom needed. Fuck my social life or grades or stability. If being a parent started to get too hard, she'd ship me off to live with my grandmother or father. She'd get lonely,…

Holy shit.

My freshman year of college, I made the mistake of dating a very serious born-again Christian. (I was raised both Catholic and Unitarian Universalist, I'm not sure what he was doing in the relationship either.)

One of my exes was into medieval reenactment and at one point bought me a throwing axe, which I got to be pretty good at. When I dumped him, he went to my room and grabbed it, then fell to his knees baring his throat and offering it to me while begging me to "end it now." I laughed so hard I staggered backwards and…

Seymour ...

An outraged friend Gchats to say: "You are so off about Stacy, she raised awareness of diabetes, for starters. Also, she was fashionable! Also, she came from NYC. Also, Stacy was good at math - that's why she was treasurer.She broke so many barriers." We are carpooling to a wedding this weekend and I'm going to be…

No, Karen, tell me a-fucking-gain about Jacob Two-Two Meets the Hooded Fang.

I always read the Little Sisters books even though I hated how Karen explained how divorce worked during chapter two of every. single. book. WE GET IT. Your family is special.

It's like a small orgasm, that's appropriate to have in front of polite company.