Yeah, that was pretty much my first thought. He unequivocally denied being high, and then very specifically denied bumping into things on set. Translation: I was rocking a pretty good buzz, but it’s all under control, man.

“I may be a fall down, piss my pants drunk, but at least I remember doing so!”

Telling that he specifies he wasn’t “blackout drunk.”

Congratulations, you just murdered a Hooker.

I’m always torn by this stuff.

He calls that move the “Fuck You, Laura Ingraham”

Make Basketball Great Again

So the basketball’s been CGI this whole time?

Some of us choose not to do stuff like that in order to show some damn respect.

It looks like a video game glitch. I keep watching and I swear the space between Thompson’s legs is getting smaller. How did he do that?

Jesus. That’s fucking incredible. I don’t get it.

This is the day Mark Cuban became President.

Jeebus, don’t any of these guys know that isn’t how you’re supposed to behave in a workplace? You’re supposed to read Deadspin at your desk while quietly wondering what your life would have been like if you hadn’t gone to a party school.

Wait. What. It may not be real?

Thanks for your service Bryan. Given the choice of listening to Fergie sing anything and swallowing a live hand grenade, it’s “Bon Appétit” for moi.

Always wondered what the inspiration for this sound effect was.

Here. Cleanse yourself.

Even Mike Pence had to sit down in the middle of that singing of the anthem.

This is low-key the greatest idea I’ve ever heard.