Deciding to stop watching the Walking Dead felt like a really necessary break up. WE’VE GROWN APART! I’M SORRY! I WILL CHERISH (much of) THE TIME WE SHARED!

I stopped last season and felt like I got my life back! They just drag it out soooo much more than it needs. I don’t need an entire hour dedicated to a character’s backstory who isn’t that important. Also there were WAY too many “main” characters by the end. Glad I’m done. But you will need to pry Game Of Thrones from…

They also love Freedom of speech. As long as you aren’t gay. Or liberal. Or a woman. Or black. Or not a Christian.

This provocation was met with conniptions of rage in the right-wing press, and apparent glee from everyone else, as the gay bunny book is trouncing the other bunny book on Amazon.

They believe that everyone who does not follow their religion will be subjected to endless torture, so who’s being the dick again?

“That has nothing to do with anything”.

When Christians start living by the “don’t be a dick” creed, I will happily respond in kind.

Yeah, when are Christians finally gonna get accepted in America?

Yeah, that was pretty much my first thought. He unequivocally denied being high, and then very specifically denied bumping into things on set. Translation: I was rocking a pretty good buzz, but it’s all under control, man.

“I may be a fall down, piss my pants drunk, but at least I remember doing so!”

Telling that he specifies he wasn’t “blackout drunk.”

Congratulations, you just murdered a Hooker.

I’m always torn by this stuff.

He calls that move the “Fuck You, Laura Ingraham”

Make Basketball Great Again

So the basketball’s been CGI this whole time?

Some of us choose not to do stuff like that in order to show some damn respect.

It looks like a video game glitch. I keep watching and I swear the space between Thompson’s legs is getting smaller. How did he do that?